May 292020
 

Too many women suffer painful feet by wearing ill-fitting shoesThe agony of da feet. It’s a just one of those things women have to go through to be fashionable, right? Maybe, maybe not. There’s no agony if you wear the right size shoes. Do you wear your proper shoe size? Do you even know your proper size? If you don’t, here’s how to deal with and fix the agony of da feet.

What the Experts Say

Alexis E. Dixon, M.D., DISC Sports & Spine Center, Marina Del Rey California, writing for the ortho-dot-com site, says that as people age, their feet grow wider and flatter. The fat pad under the bones in the ball of the foot begins to thin. This can cause pain while walking. And referring to a study conducted by The American Orthopaedic Foot and Ankle Society (AOFAS), in which researchers examined the feet of 356 women, they found that 88% of the women were wearing shoes that were too small for their feet. Most of them had not had their feet re-measured in over a decade and more than 50% reported experiencing daily foot pain from their shoes.

A Little Personal History

I didn’t like feet for the longest of time. Wouldn’t let anybody touch mine. I didn’t get my first pedicure until I was over 60. Feet were something you stuck your shoes on. That was all. But then I got into essential oils. I’m sensitive. The best way to test out an oil you may be sensitive to is on the soles of your feet. And did you know your entire bodily system is marked out on the soles of your feet? Well, I didn’t. Now there was no longer any way to avoid my feet.

It took me a long time to buy properly-fitting shoes, too, despite the agony of da feet. In high school, I wore a size 7.5 shoe. Guess what? Now I’m a 9 or 9.5. And keep in mind I’m only 5′ nuttin’ honey. My mother said at least I wouldn’t blow away in a strong wind. HAH! For some reason, I didn’t mind buying a size 9 but adding that extra half-size got me, even if the 9s were tight. I felt like I was declaring myself a bigfoot or something. Well, duh!!! I DO have big feet. Now I know my sizes in all my favorite brands. But oh, to be a size 7.5 once more!!!

Here’s How to Get a Good Fit

First off, find someone who can measure your feet properly with a Brannock device. If there’s no Brannock device, try on several sizes in the style you want and walk around on a HARD floor. There are carpets in shoe departments for a reason. The shoes feel better. You should buy your shoes late in the afternoon, too, as your feet swell throughout the day. Make sure you have enough toe room. And, please, buy the right size, no matter what the number. Don’t like that number? Once you get your shoes home, take a black permanent marker and scribble over it. Once you’ve decided not to return them, that is. And don’t tell yourself the shoe will break in. If that shoe doesn’t fit who it will break is YOU!

Another friendly tip. Please don’t buy those narrow pointy toe shoes unless your feet are shaped like that. And lower your heel expectations. Those 4″ hoochie heels you sported in your 20s will drop you on your ass in your 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond!

You may have to look around a lot more to find a well-fitting shoe that you actually like and enjoy wearing, but they’re out there. I’m tough picking out shoes. Mine are mostly flats and things with athletic bottoms on them. When I was in high school, we used to say we were wearing sit-down shoes and a stand-up girdle. Well, my days of sit-down shoes are long gone. What’s a girdle? 😉

Wearing high heels, especially in the wrong size, can definitely cause the agony of da feet.

May 122020
 

Here are five ways to slant your writingThis post is something that’s been a long time in coming. I was always “going to do it” when I was writing more a few years back, but. . . after seeing something recently that set me off and reading many of today’s news articles, I thought I would let you in on some of the secrets in the hopes that you’ll spot this “stuff” as it appears and think for yourself. It’s not all that hard to slant your writing if you follow my guidance.

Provocative Headline

This is the one that irks me the most so it’s going first. It’s actually what got me spinning this tale for you right now. Same identical news story in the body. Two different headlines. Which one would you rather read?

“One day after reopening, an ice cream shop was forced to temporarily close because customers didn’t follow social distancing rules” Ho Hum, no social distancing.

“Ice cream shop closes day after reopening over harassment from patrons” OH NO, HARASSMENT. . . get the tar and pitchforks!!! (Shades of “Shrek” 😉 )

Here’s a link to the second story so you can read it for yourself. The story is the same. It’s only the headlines that are different.

Not Explaining Yourself in The First Paragraph

If you took a Journalism class back when I went to college, you were told to make sure you had the Five Ws in the first paragraph, i.e. Who, What, When, Where and Why. That set the story up for the reader to dig into as you elaborated on each of those. Well, in today’s world, it ain’t necessarily so. It’s been proven that many people are headline readers, you know, of those provocative headlines described above. They won’t get into your story if they’re confused by what’s not in the first paragraph. Also, if you’re writing for money, they’ll click out of your story faster than the speed of light and you’ll lose your pennies for readership. So write that provocative headline, confuse your reader right from jump and lose money. It’s a great technique if you just want to dazzle someone with your point of view in the headline and then not give them anything substantive to read.

Inflammatory Words

Get out your Thesaurus, folks! The headline yells, “Smith RAGED at his opponent!” When you get to the meat of the article, IF you do, it says, “He said that his opponent lied.” The angry synonyms for the word said are the most guilty. Well, the words aren’t guilty, but the author’s use of pejorative terms for it is. You said something, but your opponent says “you screamed,” “you raged,” you harangued,” “you blasted,” “you lambasted,” yada yada yada. Somewhere when reading you will find that it’s simply something someone said.

This also works for adjectives, too. If someone made an error, they simply made a mistake. But if you really want to fling arrows of blame at them, they made an EGREGIOUS error or a HORRENDOUS error. OMG it was THAT bad? You get the idea.

Use an Unflattering Picture

You know how when you make a Facebook post it gets more attention with a photo or other picture on it? Same thing with news articles which are now mainly read on electronic devices and always have a big pic to draw your attention. Don’t like who or what you’re writing about? Pick a photo that is most unflattering. This is ably demonstrated by someone who tweets a lot. Those not in his corner pick the ugliest pics of him that they can. It works! And if you have live photos on an iPhone, you can slant your writing by separating the images and picking the yuckiest one.

Call Your Subject by Last Name Instead of First

This may seem somewhat minor, but you engender more sympathy for your subject when you use a first name. Say you’re writing about Kim Kardashian. (Who hasn’t, right?) Calling her Kim makes her personable, the girl next door (HAH!). Calling her Kardashian is colder. It makes you think of her business empire and all the unflattering things you’ve read about her over the years. So if you’re writing nicey-nice stuff about Mrs. West, you call her Kim. Hate her guts? Call her Kardashian or Kardashian-West.

My main purpose in writing this is to get you to think next time you read something in a newspaper, whether online or on paper. Or if you’re writing, how you can or can’t slant your writing. Any writer half worth his or her salt can do this easily. Op-Ed pieces are designed to get you to agree with the author. Regular news articles shouldn’t be. Their job is to report what happened. Funny thing about that, eh?

News stories should report the news, not become op-ed pieces

May 052020
 

Before Plague

Guess who’s back? And I’m even older and more busted than ever. LOL How’s quarantine treating you? Scary stuff, huh? Speaking of scary, have you met the real you yet? I mean, of course, uncut hair, undone nails, no facials and whatever other treats you do for yourself on a daily basis. There is nothing wrong with this, nothing AT ALL, but. . . a lot of us have had to face the mirror and see a stranger. Actually, a lot of us is ME. I’m “a lot of us.” Looking at your quarantine self is one thing. Loving your quarantine self is another thing entirely.

First Look

The first time I looked at the flat gray hair, the wrinkles (oh, the wrinkles!!!), the droopy eyes and the rest of it, well, I ran for the makeup drawer and threw on a metric ton. That was okay for a while. But one day it was, like, “Why bother? You’re not going anywhere. Your husband, daughter and grandson (fellow quarantiners in this house) have seen you in worse shape. Just be you. You’re old. Get used to it.” Easy to say. Not so easy to do.

The Yucky Mirror

The first few days. . . I’m lying. . . weeks were tough. Who was that old lady looking back at me in that mirror? I mean, yeah, my hair has started to gray but this old broad was doggone near totally gray with wrinkles all over the place, discolored skin and. . . hey, did you get the number of that crow that stomped all over my eyes? Being perfectly serious for a moment, I was really shocked. Was I that good at using makeup to hide all this stuff? Did Mother Nature hate me all THAT much? Apparently, the answer to both those questions was yes.

Plague Me

The Selfies From Hell

After I got used to looking in the mirror and when I could stop crying, I started taking a few selfies here and there. Think you look bad in that dastardly mirror? Wait until you see what your damn phone does to you!!! At first, I erased them all. I wasn’t having it. There was no way on this earth that I could look THAT bad. Or could I?

Acceptance Comes Slowly

As the days dragged on by and the selfies piled up, albeit slowly, I started getting used to what I saw in the mirror AND in the camera. I didn’t like it. Was I going to go back to the old me and just keep using the makeup for no good reason except to delude myself? I wasn’t sure. I put some on here and there. And then it went to just a lot of moisturizer. And then it went to. . . me. The real me. The me that is now. The 67-year-old me with wrinkles and crepey eyes, turkey neck and a myriad of other unflattering accouterments. And then it didn’t hurt so bad. And then it didn’t hurt at all. And then? Well, hell, it’s me. I earned every single one of those wrinkles. I earned every one of those damn gray hairs. I earned every sagging part of me. And you know what? It’s just. . . me.

And Now?

Well, I’m back to learning to love myself, which is where I was when this plague took over the world. Would I like it better if I looked like I thought I did with the war paint on my face? Yeah, I would, but guess what? That’s not really me. Me is the old lady looking back at me with all the imperfections, yeah, the ones I’ve earned over a long and pretty decent life.

The Future

And when all of this is a memory, will I start with the makeup again? Will I try to alter the me I’ve become and learned to love? I want to say, “Hey, this is me and this is what you’re getting from this point forward.” I want to say that. If I do, will I mean it? I’m honestly not sure. I mean, yeah, I always want to look my best, but if this IS my best, well, I guess I’ll have to accept that. But if part of loving your quarantine self also includes a little powder and lipstick, count me in!

The Crow

The Beautiful Crow That Stepped On My Eyes

May 222017
 

My Head ShotSelf-love. Self-esteem. Self-worth. A lot of us didn’t have much as teens. The sad part of it is a lot of us still don’t have too much. It’s a crying shame. Most of us have wonderful things to offer to this thing we call life. But many of us don’t offer them up because society tells us we don’t look “acceptable,” that we don’t fit in. . . because we’re larger or smaller than the average bear, we don’t have the right hair, we’re the wrong color or some other ridiculous reason. So we run and hide. Is this you? If it is, read on.

It’s How I Was Raised

That line was my mother’s BS excuse for why she could never change. “It’s how I was raised.” Well, most readers of this blog were raised in an age that taught us it’s all about others. Caring for and about others is a grand thing, provided you realize that YOU need some of that caring, too. Many of us didn’t and still don’t. I didn’t. It was all *them* and never me. It was instilled in me from a young age. I was fat, ugly and good for nothing. I owed my life to others because mine wasn’t worth it. And when it comes from your mother, it’s hard to tell yourself it’s wrong. Suffice it to say, by the time I was a young maid, there was nothing resembling self-esteem or self-worth anywhere near my soul.

Sometimes We Get Lucky

Despite my lack of self-esteem, there was one young man who saw through it all. He thought I was worth something. He thought I was beautiful. I still think he’s crazy, but he’s been hanging around for almost 50 years so maybe some of it’s true, eh? He taught me about unconditional love. Sadly, I didn’t understand that for a long, long, long time. It’s changing now. Better late than never, as they say.

What Society Tells Us

I probably don’t have to tell you that our culture in the U.S. says that to be worthy you should be tall, thin and preferably blonde OR have a big ass like Kim K. That’s acceptable because that turns you into a sexual object. Well, guess what? NOT OKAY. We are all worthy and sex should have nuttin’ honey to do with it.

I don’t know about you, but me, myself and I, for one, am getting tired of being told I don’t measure up. I think it’s time some of us pull ourselves up to our full height, whatever it may be, and start to show society that we can shine just as brightly as what it calls stars. I use that term very loosely. We’re the stars, ladies. We’re the ones who raise kids, work, create art, fix cars, do the rocket science (think Hidden Figures) and make this bright blue marble go ‘round.

What We Can Do

What can we do to counter society? Show ‘em they’re wrong. . . and I mean WRONG! How? Start by NOT. HIDING. Wear the bright clothing. Stand up front in the photos (very hard for me). Sing, dance, paint, do what it is you do and crow about it!!! Stick out that newly-found self-esteem! USE. IT. Don’t hide because you’re old, fat, not what society thinks is pretty or a combination of all the above. If you need inspiration, just look at my pic. I’m not any of it and I am starting to put it out there. Yeah, it’s cathartic for me, but it’s also fact. What fact? Like the old L’Oreal commercial used to say, “You’re worth it.” Yeah, I am. And so are you.

Why you should not hide or unhide

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

Where are you? I know I’m not the only Old Busted Hotness around. There is strength in numbers. Start taking care of YOU if you haven’t been. Do you want a nice hair style? Get it. Would you feel better with your nails done? Get ‘em done. Want to take a college course? Go take it! Now I’m NOT telling you to break the bank here. But there are little things that can make you feel better about being you. Do them. Enjoy them. And then get out there proudly. Hold your beautiful head up high and show the world what you’ve got. STOP. HIDING. We are a force to be reckoned with.

Breaking Good

I am breaking new ground every single day. Some of it’s good. Some of it’s great. Some of it I need to try again. And again. And again. I was 40 years old before I could look at myself in a ladies room mirror because I was told I didn’t deserve to be putting on makeup and combing my hair like “normal” folks. Now when I walk into a public bathroom, I stare down that mirror!!! And, yeah, it stares back, but I no longer hate what I see. It has taken me a lot of years to get to this point. I’m just grateful I made it before check-out time.

The Point

My point is. . . . you are who you are. You are special, more special than you know. Do not check your self-esteem anywhere. Let your light shine. This world needs us old broads. They may not know it yet, but they DO. We have wisdom. We have knowledge. We have beauty. We know what it takes. We’ve been there. We’ve done that. Now it’s time to let the world know what we’ve got. Who’s with me?

See ya next time!

Jun 082016
 

Doesn't want to do That Which Must Be DoneAs a young woman, I had no trouble at all forcing myself to do most anything that I knew had to be done. Back then, it was fairly simple and straightforward. When That Which Must Be Done arrived, I set my mind to it and I finished it.  Miller Time!

Well, that was then and this is now. These days I no longer have the determination and perseverance of my younger self. I have to kick, yank and shove myself into the battle to do something I just don’t wanna do. If you’re old busted self is having this same problem, here are a six tips to force yourself to do That Which Must Be Done.

Comfortable Clothes

Put on some of your favorite old, comfy clothes to do That Which Must Be Done. This is not the time for a new outfit or something you need industrial-strength Spanx to get into. Now is the time for your old sweats, leggings, ratty tee shirts and, yes, even your pajamas. If it’s comfy and you feel good in it, put it on. Now if you are comfortable in formal clothes, by all means. . .

Comfortable Temperature

If it’s summer and you die in the heat but you’re trying to save money on the electric bill, put the air conditioning on just to get the task done. Freeze the house out if you have to. It’s only for a short time until you finish. And in reverse, if you’re freezing your arse off to try and save money on the heating bill, put on a comfy sweater and turn the heat up, again for a very limited time. Get that room to what’s comfortable for you and attack That Which Must Be Done.

Good Sniffs

Put your favorite scent in your Scentsy burner or light your favorite candle. Just need a temporary fix? Try room sprays. Lavender is relaxing for many. Vanilla works for a lot of folks, too. You know what your favorite scent it. Aroma therapy works.  Use it for That Which Must Be Done.

Favorite Music

If your task doesn’t require listening, grab your phone, tablet or laptop and click on Pandora, Spotify or your favorite play list. Get that music going, but only stuff you absolutely love. For me, it’s soft instrumental music or classical in the background, but if AC/DC gets your motivation going, turn it up!

Favorite Beverage

Like a nice cup of coffee or tea? Maybe a blend you keep for company or a special occasion? Heads up! This is your special occasion. Break it out and use the nice china cup while you’re at it. If hot chocolate gets your motor running, that’s fine, too. If you love cold drinks, fix whatever will keep you comfortable while you’re doing That Which Must Be Done. If iced tea, lemonade, soda (yeah, yeah, I know) or just ice cold water will do the trick, drink it.

The Promise of a Reward

Yes, I know this sounds a bit juvenile, but why do you think a reward system works with kids? Because we’re all human, that’s why. After doing a task that we’ve been avoiding, we want a treat. It doesn’t have to be anything big. No, you’re not going to buy yourself a brand new 70″ flat screen for balancing your checkbook, but how about rewarding yourself with an hour of reading? Maybe a nice long walk or a trip to the mall (sans credit cards unless you have money to burn). If you’re an exercise maven, promise yourself a nice run, a bike ride or a Zumba class. It doesn’t have to be material, but it does have to be something you really, really enjoy.

One Final Word

If you really, really, REALLY hate doing That Which Must Be Done and you absolutely can’t bring yourself to do it but it would adversely affect your life if it doesn’t get done, see if you can recruit a family member or friend to do it for you. And, yes, your reward will go to them, but at least the job will get done.

Sanity restored.

OBH over and out!