Seems like more and more people have been complaining about being out of money lately. Okay, I get it. The economy sucks. . . for most of us. But when the (formerly?) rich and famous start doing it, you have to wonder. According to TMZ, the latest celeb crying poor mouth (as we say in my home town of Philadelphia) is David Hasselhoff, The Hoff, the former star of Knight Rider, Baywatch and lots of other things. The Hoff claims to only have $4,000 to his name. He’s broke.
Let’s take a look at what it means to be broke. Since Google is my friend, I pulled up a screen and typed in “definition of broke.” Google says:
broke (adjective) having completely run out of money.
synonyms: penniless, moneyless, bankrupt, insolvent, ruined, down-and-out, without a penny to one’s name, without a cent, without one red cent, without two pennies to rub together.
Penniless, moneyless, insolvent, down-and-out, having completely run out of money. Got it? I know I sure do. Been there/done that/gladly accepted the government cheese.
Poor Hoff. He’s broke. Or so he wants us to believe. He only has $4,000 left to his name. In the days of raising my kids, there were many times I had to figure out how to feed them when I only had FOUR DOLLARS left to my name. But, yeah, I know I’m a lowly peasant and not Hollywood royalty, those who deserve an affluent lifestyle due to the worship of the sheeple. (Ooops…sorry. Too early for that degree of snark.)
So. . . he’s broke. Or should we make that cash poor? I still don’t call only having $4,000 cash poor, but, hey, what do I know? And then I read a little farther down the TMZ article and. . . the voice of an infomercial barker resounds in my head.
But wait. . . . there’s more!!! There’s the minor detail of having $1.79 million in non-broke assets, like “real estate, retirement savings, cars, jewelry, art and other odds and ends.” Oh yeah, that’s B-R-O-K-E. We should all be so broke!
Oh, and did I mention that the article says he makes $112,000 a month, but spends $66,000 of that? So he has practically nothing left when he gets done paying his ex, shelling out living expenses and spending his $66K. Poor baby can’t save a penny. What the hell do you spend 66 grand a month on? I won’t go into how many people don’t make that in a year, yet alone count it as chump change.
So what’s a poor, broke actor to do? Petition the court to reduce support payments to his ex, of course!
SURPRISE! She’s not buying it. She says he has lots more than that $1.79 mill in property all over the world. Grab a beer and some popcorn, folks, so you’ll be ready for the bitch fight in court at the end of the month.
You know what’s the worst part in all this? People feel SORRY for someone who came to fame on his looks and the fact that he reads lines well and who now ONLY has $4,000 in cash plus $1.79 million (and possibly more) in assets. THEY FEEL SORRY FOR HIM!!! I just sit here, tapping on keys to make a living, shaking my head.
Hoff, I have some advice for you from a fan, me, one of the real people out there who knows what it’s like to be truly broke.
Have a yard sale, dude!
And just so you know, Hoff is not alone in this phenomenon known as “crying broke.” Congress is currently bitching that they can’t live on $174,000 a year. Do NOT get me started on that.
OBH over and out.