Old Busted Hotness

I have a question for anyone out there who is a “Dancing With the Stars” fan.  What in the hell happened to the judges last night? They were almost in lock step with scores and comments and then they went on the attack, singling out one poor contestant who, I’m sure, gave his best.  This was a new cast with little to no experience, opening night jitters and, I’m sure, a firm resolve to give it their all.

First dance was great!  Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough kicked it into a high-gear cha-cha and the judges were very complimentary. They looked good out there.

Then it sorta kinda went downhill.  Most of the male contestants, to be honest, didn’t do too well.  Again, it was the first night, people were scared, the skills, if any, were new.

Boxer Victor Ortiz and his million megawatt smile couldn’t quite overcome a very stiff Foxtrot attempt. He gave it a helluva shot, though. The judges were like. . . “meh.” Bachelor Sean Lowe wasn’t the epitome of grace out there either, but again. . . he got lukewarm praise from the judges.  General Hospital’s Ingo Rademacher stomped around out there and missed a lot of steps but got the now familiar “meh” response.  Baltimore Ravens’ running back Jacoby Jones got a remark from Len that said he was “all icing, no cake.”

Recovering addict and comedian Andy Dick gave quite a charming performance with his new pro partner Sharna Burgess, probably the best male contestant’s performance of the night. Len told him he had all the “fluidity of RoboCop.”  The guys got different versions of “meh” one after the other, but it wasn’t until actor/comedian D.L. Hughley and Cheryl Burke took the floor for their Cha-Cha that the. . . errr. . . crap hit the fan.

The 50-year-old comedian was trashed, smashed and drug across that dance floor by three so-called “professional” judges. Okay. The dancing wasn’t very good. But first night, non-dancer, opening night nerves, etc.  Where was the, “Hey, good job, but do this better next time” stuff? He would have been better with the “meh” trio the other dancers were inspiring. But noooooooooo. . . here’s what this poor man got.

From Bruno, the diplomat, who usually gushes over everyone to help and encourage:  “OMG, D.L., you have terminated the cha-cha-cha.”

From Carrie Ann Inaba, known to be occasionally bitchy, but usually encouraging:  “I have some bad news for you: That was yi-yi-yikes!”

But neither of them could top Mr. Goodman when he attacked. Len put on one of his best mean faces and said, “Listen, if any dance is going to suit you, it’s got to be the cha-cha-cha.  This was no good.” D.L. Hughley did his best stoic face, but looked like he wanted to cry. Okay, so he wasn’t that good. A lot of them weren’t that good. Was that a reason to humiliate him on national television?

I have to give D.L. Hughley credit for holding it in and reacting with the grace he did. He made one slightly snarky statement and I think he was being too nice. Afterwards, he said, “I haven’t danced in 30 years, so that’s the equivalent of bullying a second-grader.”

Why D.L.? With few exceptions, there weren’t a lot of spectacular performances last night.  Leader board topper Zendaya was great.  She’s 16 and has some dance skills.  Aly Raisman is an Olympic gold medalist. She did pretty good, as did the aforementioned Kellie Pickler.  Elder stateswoman Dorothy Hamill held her own, too, in a beautiful contemporary dance. The rest of everybody else fell into the “meh” club and, for the most part were judged as such.

I’m sorry, but there was no reason to attack D.L. Hughley the way they did.  And why him? Others were just as stiff, just as clumsy, just as. . . well, bad. Was it deliberate? It sure looked that way. Or were our esteemed panel of judges just looking to pick a fight somewhere and maybe his red shirt was the signal? I honestly don’t know, but I’m beginning to think that “Dancing With the Stars,” which is always looking for new, fresh contestants, maybe ought to start looking for some new, fresh judges, too.

I’ve seen a lot of professions of love, beautiful Valentine’s Day cards and many warm and loving sentiments floating across my Facebook newsfeed this morning. Then I saw an article by my friend Michele Gwynn about what folks really want for Valentine’s Day. You can read that HERE. And then it occurred to me that most of what I was looking at was for younguns. Some of us are no longer young. So that got me to thinking. . . what would older folks want for Valentine’s Day.

Well, if you’re married, I think you want to be remembered. Cards, flowers and candy sometimes get lost in the progression of years and it becomes just another day. Even a peck on the cheek with a heartfelt greeting of “Happy Valentine’s Day” can do it for you. If you get more than that. . . WOOT!

No card, peck on the cheek or otherwise? Make your love’s favorite dinner. You’ve been together a long time. You know what it is. If dinner can’t be changed, make cupcakes or some other quick and easy dessert that’s your love’s favorite. Even a drink can be special. Sprinkle some cinnamon in a cup of hot chocolate. It’s easy to say, “Hey, I appreciate you hangin’ around this long and I’m glad you’re still here.” Sounds like a lot less than a gushy, passionate “I LOVE YOU,” but after you’ve been together for a long, long time, you’ll see what I mean.

I think what I’m trying to say here is that instead of hearts and flowers and pronouncements of romantic love, what you’re trying to say is what an old song by the group Orleans says. . . You’re still the one! Remember that? Click here if you’d like to listen. 🙂   “You’re Still the One” by Orleans

If you’re alone, this may be one of the worst holidays for you. Everyone’s preaching love and togetherness. You probably feel like you just don’t belong. So love yourself. Buy yourself some flowers or candy or a little something you want. Reach out. You’re not the only lonely person out there. Go to a nursing home and visit. Don’t laugh. My grandmom used to volunteer in a nursing home when she was older than most of the residents! You will put smiles on people’s faces but the best part is you’ll put a warm glow in your own heart.

If you’re an older couple on a fixed or tight income, there are a lot of things you can do to show your love that you care without breaking that already meager bank.

Make a Valentine card. Go to the dollar store and get some construction paper. Surely you remember construction paper? Play like you’re a kid again and make a Valentine. It doesn’t have to be perfect or look like it came from Hallmark. That’s the beauty of it. Write your heart on that red paper. Cut up a paper lace doily (yes, they still make them) and trim. Voila! Instant love.

Dinner at a fancy restaurant is nice, but getting a coffee from Starbucks or other coffee shop is nice, too. A burger at McDonald’s will do the trick (if your heart can take it). The point is to eat the meal with the one you love. What you eat is really unimportant. Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup at home will work just as well.

Need an inexpensive Valentine gift? Fancy chocolates are great, but you can just as easily go buy some candy hearts (that dollar store again!) and put them in a fancy Valentine box or tie them up in a square of red felt or even paper; adorn with a ribbon. If you know your person has a favorite candy bar, one of those will do just fine, too.  It’s the love that counts, not the price tag.

If you can afford a movie, that’s a nice night out. If not, rent one from one of the red or blue boxes. Our Redbox rents for $1.28. Get some hot chocolate or other beverage of choice and cuddle up on the sofa.

There are lots of things you can do, even if you are an old fart, and, yeah, it’s sill early on Valentine’s Day, so if you’re old and thinking this day is past you or you’re still young and in love but broke, there are many things you can do. Now go show someone you love them!