I’ve been fat for as long as I can remember. I was a chubby baby, a fat toddler, larger than the average bear in elementary school, nowhere near Twiggy in my high school years and. . . . well, you probably get the idea. I’ve been up and down 100+ pounds in my life more times than I’d like to admit to. However, the changes never bothered me until now. Losing weight in old age is definitely not the weigh (pun intended) to go, unless you have a drawer full of Spanx.
Let me first say that if you need to lose weight at any age, do it to get healthy. And the younger you do it, the better off you’ll be. I was told by a dermatologist that once you hit 35 or thereabouts, your skin doesn’t shrink back nicely anymore. Well, if it doesn’t do it at 35, let me tell you that you’re in deep doo-doo when you do it way, way, WAY past that point.
After struggling for 10 years or so at weight loss, I found a way of eating that worked for me. It’s slow, slow, slow but I have managed to drop a little more than 40 pounds over the past two years. Congratz are in order, right? Not so fast. Let’s do a pro/con analysis of the results.
The Nice Pros
I’m healthier. This is the most important part of the whole thing. My BP is down. My blood sugar is in good control. I move more easily.
I can Zumba! I love Zumba and after gaining enough weight, it became history with my mobility issues. Now I can Zumba once more. We won’t go into what I look like doing it, but I CAN do it.
I can buy clothing in the regular size department. Going from a 2X-3X to a size 14-16 is great. I’m not gonna lie about it. Mainly for access as it’s still easier to find a large than the X sizes in small town USA.
The Big Con
Everything I own is sagging, bagging or otherwise swinging. This ain’t funny, Universe!
Shall we talk flying squirrel arms? HAH! Mine will still be waving good-bye to you once you are not only out of town but out of the county and possibly out of the state, depending on the direction you’re going.
My thighs no longer rub together except at the very top. This should be a good thing, right? Well, it would be if they didn’t slap each other about on each pass.
My neck. This shouldn’t even be discussed. Let’s just say I will give your next Thanksgiving turkey a run for his/her money.
Jowls? My basset hounds keep looking at me like, “Yeah, she’s trying to join our pack!!!”
My butt jiggles! I never had much of a butt to begin with, which is why I’m still aching from a fall two weeks ago. What I have left is now sliding down the backs of my thighs and jiggling when I walk. Yes, join me in Ewwwwwwwwww!
And now we come to Jabba the Gut. I never had a totally flat stomach, not even close, but after multiple abdominal surgeries and the removal of most of my stomach muscles due to MRSA, the now almost empty skin slaps against the tops of my thighs and WORSE. (Best left to your imagination.)
To put it bluntly, I challenge any Sharpei to beat me at the latest wrinkly dog beauty pageant. They don’t stand a chance!!! Go out naked? HAH HAH HAH I’d be in jail for murder as folks who saw me would literally die laughing. At the very least, they’d be buying out the world’s supply of eye bleach.
So what to do except look for ways to buy sufficient shares in Spanx to take me through the rest of my saggy baggy life?
ENJOY IT!!! Everything above is in fun, yet absolutely true. Still, I’m better off like this than I was before. I don’t believe you have to be thin to be healthy but, for me, at this point in my life, I’m healthier. And while I’m way past the age of worrying about keeping up with the Kardashians, my goal is to be able to run around with my new grandbaby when she is able, like my beloved grandmom did with me. Not a bad goal, actually.
I have a long, long way to go to be considered thin or even normal. Will I get there before I leave this earth? I honestly don’t know. Film at 11. . .
Now where did I put that full-body Spanx?
OBH over and out!