Carla Ives

May 172017
 

My Head ShotIt’s the time of year dreaded by all, especially by those who are not young, slim or anything close to the beauty standards of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. It’s Swimsuit Season! Are you resigned to going to the beach or pool in tank or tee and shorts? Understood. That was my summer wardrobe, too, but no more. Old Busted Hotness is breakin’ out her Old Busted Flab. (More about those boobs to come.)

I haz swimsuit!  (Me so happy. . . 🙂 )

 The Big Boob Caper
Ashley Graham bikini

Ashley Graham x Swimsuits For All Princesa Tropic Bikini, (linked in post) sale price $58

Have you seen the latest craze in plus-size swimwear? Due to the fabulous rise in body positivity, larger gals in two-piecers are proudly showing off their tummies. The models are freakin’ gorgeous and toned! My amazement comes, however, not from the tops of the suits but the tops of those models! To be more than a bit crude. . . . where’d they get those knockers? I didn’t think I was a slouch in the boob department, but I couldn’t fill those cups with my ass. Age and weight loss have taken their toll and if things don’t stop, pretty soon I’m gonna need fluffy gym socks to fill out my C cups.

Beach Pain

I remember being happy as a little kid on the beach. Truth be told, I’m always happy on the beach. But that’s before I was humiliated for being fat. Once in middle school, I had a two-piece suit. It wasn’t a bikini. It was what they called a hipster. It was green. My Grandmom bought it for me. My mother was beyond mortified. People were gonna see her kid’s fat rolls. OH, THE HORROR, THE SHAME!!! I was a junior size 11, huge in my mother’s eyes. Oh, to be that size now.

From here on out, nice tank suits were the name of the game. But as I got teased and humiliated at the beach by both men and women, I decided it was time to revert to the tank tops and shorts. . . or wrap myself in a beach towel. And as much as I loved the beach, I just avoided it. Too painful.

This is Ashley Stewart's power mesh swim top

Power Mesh Swim Top from Ashley Stewart, Reg. Price $54.50

Back to the Boob Suits

So I decided those big boob suits were just mock-ups for the model at hand and started ordering. Surely those cups couldn’t be that size in real life. Wanna bet? I looked like the old joke about the kid who proudly marches up to her teacher and announces she’s wearing a training bra. To which said teacher sweetly replies, “But what are you training, honey?” UGH

Last year, I bought a one-piece suit. It’s wearable, but the leg holes are too big and it fits a little funny. My parts are different sizes. Tankinis allow a better fit with separates. And don’t say the words “swim dress” to me. Those words scream old lady loud and clear and bring back my childhood shame. 🙁

My tankini top from Talbots

Pandora Beachy Blooms Tankini Top – Miraclesuit® available from Talbots online, reg. price $89.50

Success!

It took quite a bit of searching and returning, but. . . I finally have a great-fitting tankini top courtesy of Talbots. Yeah, the place I call the Muffy & Buffy store came through. Not usually my cup of tea. But one day, a gorgeous swimsuit popped up on my Facebook page and I clicked on it. To my amazement, it was Talbots!!! I scanned down the page and saw a tankini top in the same beautiful print. It was on sale and I got an online coupon for a massive percentage off. This place ain’t cheap! When I pulled it out of the package, I thought. . . . hmmm, maybe? And the best part? I would not need to stuff honeydew melons in the cups to fill them out. I put it on and modeled it for Ray. His eyes lit up. It’s in my drawer.

I’m planning on wearing it with a pair of black bike shorts from Fabletics. I also ordered a black swim skirt from Swimsuits for All.  And, yes, I know what I said about a swim dress, but this doesn’t look like one, even with the skirt.

So when you go to the beach in South Jersey this year, if you see a (very) short, fat old broad with caramel-colored hair sticking straight up, give me a wave. And if fluffy gym socks fall out of my bra, just palm ‘em discreetly and give ‘em back to me later, K?

See ya Friday with a great review!

May 152017
 

My Head ShotPanties, undies, choners, unmentionables or whatever you call them, we all need ‘em unless, that is, you’re a commando type of gal. There are a gazillion styles out there now in all sizes. But if you don’t want granny panties and you’re not quite ready for what I lovingly call butt floss, how do you find something comfortable in between? What follows is a humorous look at my (frustrating) hunt for the perfect panties.

Body Oddities

Due to surgery and stomach muscle removal from a nasty little thing called MRSA, I am plagued with Jabba the Gut and the relatively flat ass I was born with. Therefore, while I don’t quite want grannie panties, hipsters and bikinis don’t work for me. They’re uncomfortable and create more rolls than Pillsbury. However, I do have certain demands for what is under my jeans. No tighty-whities. I was forced into white undies from diapers till I left home. I was taught you gotta be able to bleach “da curse” outta them. Well, I’ve been spayed since 1998, so no more. Now I like ’em wild and colorful!!!

My Preferences

(1) MUST be cotton
(2) MUST be stretch cotton (due to said problem with Jabba the Gut)
(3) MUST have a fairly strong waistband
(4) MUST come all the way up to my waisted line
(5) MUST not need a personal loan from the bank to afford
(6) Did I already say they MUST be loud and colorful? 🙂

The Perfect Panties That Were
My first good panties

These were the Avenue originals I was happy with for years until I found Lane Bryant’s

I found the perfect panties that met all these requirements a few years back at Avenue. And then one day I found an even better version of the style at Lane Bryant. So I started buying them there. I would wait for the semi-annual sales and buy 6-8 pair at a time.

Last year, my body told me it needed to be smaller. I have movement issues and it’s not rocket science to know that a smaller body is easier to move through the time/space continuum. The birth of a very feisty grandbaby to chase brought this home even more. So when I could pull my fave Lane Bryant panties up over my boobs, I happily trotted back to LB for new ones, a size smaller.

And then came the day that I happily trotted back to Lane Bryant to get the next size down. . . only to discover there was NO next size down. “No problem,” says I. I will simply find them elsewhere a size smaller. “HAH HAH HAH,” says the fashion industry.

What I Wanted

These are the Jockeys I wanted for history’s and other sakes, but couldn’t find in a size to fit me

I decided I needed Jockeys.  Growing up, undies were called jockeys in my home. Then I discovered that Jockey isn’t overly fond of fat folk. The largest I found were a size 7. Maybe with stretch, but as they were? Not even with a prescription! I should clarify that they don’t seem to like fat women. Their mens’ undies come in a much wider size range. Oh, and did I mention that a 3-pack is $22.50? So no Jockeys for me. I should note here that I have just discovered that Jockey does indeed make plus sizes. Of course, these cost even more and you have to order them from their website as most stores only carry the smaller sizes.

The Hunt

Finding any type of decent full briefs is a pain in the butt (yes, pun intended). I repeat. . . I will NOT wear white granny panties. Yes, I’m a granny but. . . as previously noted more than once, I like bright colors, a decent fabric and a good waistband. Yes, I am willing to pay a little more for these features. But finding it? Nobody wants my money. . . or so it seems.

First stop, the internet. I decided to search. And search and search and. . . . well, you get the idea. Yes, my searches were specific. I would put in “stretch cotton ladies briefs” and would get. . . microfiber panties, nylon panties, bikini panties, hipster panties, the aforementioned butt floss and on and on and on and on. Did you not notice, Google, that I said stretch cotton briefs? And I thought you were my friend. 🙁

Hours were spent at Walmart, Target, JC Penney, anywhere they sold ladies underwear here in Lower Cowpie Heaven. As my old ones were wearing out and/or falling down, I needed something fast. I should note here I tried a variety of specialty undies, different fabrics, cuts, etc., just in case I could fudge my standards a bit. Nope. Didn’t work.

What I Got

So I finally decide I have to buy something and pick up a package of el cheapos at Wally’s. They were high cut but it was all I could find in the size. They were very, very thin and as see-through as a sheet of Saran Wrap despite their bright patterns and colors. Actually, they fit well, but I am not a gentle old lady by any means. I tend to yank things up and down and the waistband tore on the first wearing. Oh well, they’re tucked away for when I forget to do the wash. I should note here for those who can wear them, there is a new brand at Walmart, Target, etc. called Fit For Me that are wonderful. They start at size 9. I would have adored these a few years ago.

Next came Fruit of the Loom. Good ‘ole reliable Fruit of the Loom. We hunted. We searched. We damn near threw packages of underwear on the floor looking for the correct size. Finally, my husband spotted a package that said “briefs” and not “modern briefs,” code for just try to get these puppies up above your belly button! The Holy Grail lives! Well, all I can say is that they are somewhat better than the first ones. Nicer fabric, softer. But. . . they are much larger in the size than the first batch and still see-through thin. And a few bucks more per package.

The one-offs. I have purchased singles in a variety of places, all very disappointing. Had I found one that fit all my requirements, I would have gone back and purchased every pair in the store.

My woman within panties

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner! For now, these fit the bill from WW

Catalog to the Rescue

While perusing the Woman Within catalog for my first blog review, I thought I saw something in the panty pages. I thumbed right by. Then I went back. Surely, it couldn’t be. . . BUT IT WAS! The same kind of  (yes, by all that is holy, it said stretch cotton briefs!!!) panties I had purchased at Avenue and Lane Bryant. And wonder of wonders, they came in a size smaller than what I had! A coupon made them reasonable, shipping included, so I placed an order. Panty heaven, at least for now.

How About You?

What style undies do you prefer? Why? Where do you get them? Help an OBH out here, K?

See ya next time!

BTW, I am not affiliated with any of the companies featured here. I put the links in for your convenience should you decide to check ’em out. 🙂

May 122017
 

Company Name:  Woman Within  (a few pics at the bottom)

Size Range:  12 to 40, sizes above 24 are approximately $5 to $10 more depending on style

Shoes:  Yes, in sizes 7 – 12 W, WW, with wide calf boots also available.

Trendy:  NO

Overall Rating (out of 10):  7

For those of you who lived out of the old Lane Bryant Catalog back in the day and know that the current Lane Bryant stores have nothing in common with that catalog any longer, allow me to present Woman Within. The catalog changed its name approximately 9-10 years ago. It is now a part of Full Beauty Brands, which also includes plus-size catalogs Roamans, Jessica London, Ellos and Swimsuits for All.

The Clothing

Woman Within sells basic, non-trendy clothing. It’s a little fuddy-duddy to me, but I do occasionally purchase basics from here, including tee shirts, undies and the occasional odd garment. You won’t find anything super stylish here but you WILL find good basic pieces for your wardrobe.

They have a few cute dresses scattered throughout, but most are maxis which make my short stuff look. . . learn the term. . . F&D or Frumpy & Dumpy.  😉 Swimsuits tend towards the granny look. They have a large selection of underwear, sleepwear, basic pants, shorts, jeans, tops and shoes.  The shoe selection is where I feel they excel. Woman Within, Roamans and Jessica London carry a huge selection of large, wide and stylish shoes. (More on this in a coming post.)

Sizing

As I said, they have sizes 12 through 40. Not all clothing comes in all sizes. They have a decent number of petites. I haven’t seen many talls, if any, but their regular clothing, to me, is very long. Most descriptions give the length of the pieces somewhere in the description. I admit that I’m not crazy about the fact that a catalog geared to plus-size women charges more for extended sizes, but that’s the nature of the beast for most retailers.

Fit

I always thought their shirts ran a little snug. Some items ran big.  My point being there seems to be little to no consistency in sizing. They DO, however, offer free exchanges so, if you like something and it doesn’t fit right, you can exchange it for a different size.

Speaking of Returns and Exchanges

Exchanges are free. Returns are accepted for refund of purchase price to the original payment method within 90 days, minus $7.50 for return postage (usually through UPS drop box). After 90 days, you can still return an item but you will get a Woman Within gift card, minus the $7.50, instead of a credit to your original payment method.

Price

It’s hard to give you a guideline here because every day brings a new deal so you have to check the site. Most dresses I looked at were in the $25 to $60 range. Tops go $25 to $40 regular price. Tee shirts are cheaper. Jeans are basic and in the $40ish range. Personally, I think they are expensive for what you get. Their quality is better than Walmart, but. . . not as good as I think it should be for what they’re charging. Now all that being said, check the next section on getting a better price.

Special Deals

Oh my goodness, there are ways and ways and ways to cut the price at Woman Within and earn benes. There are coupons out all over the internet for this catalog. (Check Retail Me Not) If you sign up for their emails, you will get an immediate 40% off coupon and you will continue to get coupons. They have big sales on all major holidays, too. And they also have a refer-a-friend program. There is a page on the site where you can refer friends. When your friend purchases, they get $25 off and you get $25 in your account to spend as you please. If you sign up for their credit card, you earn $10 rewards which can be spent like cash. You can sign up on the site for a free catalog. Every time you get a new catalog, there is a discount or free shipping or a freebie on it.

My Overall Impression

The Woman Within Catalog used to be the one place a larger woman who liked mildly conservative clothing could get everything. It still is, but it is no longer the only place. While I occasionally purchase from them, much more stylish clothing can be found in lots of other places. However, if it fits you well, the price agrees with your budget and you like what you see, give them a try. The company **is** reliable and will work with you to iron out a dispute, if necessary.

See ya Monday!

Woman Within crinkle dress

Floaty, mid-length, crinkle fabric dress, $39.99 to $49.99 depending on size

 

Woman Within Stretch Jeans

Straight Leg Stretch Jeans, $29.99 to $39.99 depending on size

Woman Within Silas Sandal

Cute, up-to-date sandal in a full range of sizes, 7M to 12WW. $39.99 to $49.99 depending on size

May 102017
 

My Head ShotDo you work out? I do. If I’m being perfectly honest with you, I’d rather not but. . . I’m afraid not to. Age and illness have taken their toll and, if I sit too long, there are consequences. So off I go to the gym and yoga. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lately, I see lots of other folks there who look just like me, older and larger than the average bear. I used to go in old (lady) pants and tee shirts. But one day I looked around at all the ladies rockin’ their cute active wear outfits and decided, “Why the hell not?” I left the gym, headed to Lane Bryant and snagged me an outfit.

That First Outfit

Me in my 1st gym outfitThis was that first outfit. (Yes, my flying squirrel upper arms are showing, thank you very much! 😉 ) The mannequin was wearing the only one in my size. I stripped that gal nekkid in a heartbeat and bought it. LOL The top is royal blue with the word INSPIRE on it. I needed that. The pants are actually capris but I’m mega short, remember? They’re sorta kinda crops on me but I can yank them up to the knees if necessary. You can’t see it well here, but there is a multi-colored stripe down the side of the pants that matches the word INSPIRE.

Super comfy. Easy care. All the good stuff. And not too expensive to boot. I’m wearing a 14-16 in this pic. You will note that most of my tops will be tight around Jabba the Gut. If I buy them bigger, they tend to swim on me in all other places and make me look sloppy. So I just go with the snug middle look.

My honest impression of Lane Bryant active wear:  Good quality, reasonable price (on sale) but not a huge selection. That being said, they are getting more and more as larger women are becoming more active.

But Wait, I Need More!

I’m going to the gym 3-4 times a week. OMG, I need another outfit!!!  Back to Lane Bryant I went. Problem was they didn’t have another one that I really liked. As this blog moves forward, you’ll find out how picky (anal) I am about what I spend my hard-earned clothing bucks on. So remembering that Google is my friend, I found Fabletics.

Me in Flabletics blueFabletics is an exercise wear company founded by Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn’s daughter. She’s late 30-ish and in amazing shape. When I first heard of them, they had kind of a bad rep. They apparently made some changes because, all of a sudden, I began hearing good things about them. All the models look like Kate Hudson and not me, not by a long shot.  I didn’t know if the clothes would fit. I got a good deal through a friend, though, so I tried an outfit. When it arrived, I was like. . . uh-uh, no way.  But. . . does shuckin’ and jivin’ into compression pants classify as a workout?  It should!!!

As you can see, this one is a royal blue top with LOUD leggings. Luv me some wild prints! I’m wearing a size 14-16 which is an XL in their size range.

Fabletics is a membership site. Every first of the month they debut new outfits for that month. You have five days to decide if you want something and boy, oh boy, do the outfits sell out quick! Outfits are $49.95 and up, usually with free shipping. If you don’t make a selection by the 5th OR SKIP THE MONTH (more in a moment), they put a $49.95 charge on your credit card that you can use whenever you’d like. You can skip a month at any time. Believe me, I’ve skipped most of the months that I’ve been subscribed. SHAMELESS DISCLAIMER:  If you click THIS LINK and sign up, you get two pair of leggings for $24, which is the current sign-up special. And I get something for it, too. 🙂

My Honest Impression of Fabletics:  Great style, good fit, easy to navigate website and membership plan. GREAT NEWS!!!  They just started carrying some kickass plus sizes up to a 24. I like the leggings much better than the tops. The three pair of leggings I own are very strong and supportive. The tops not so much, but they look good!

Old Navy

Me in purple Old NavyOne day I decided I needed something new to encourage me to go to the gym. I ended up in Old Navy, attracted by a sign that said BIG SALE ON ACTIVE WEAR. I had ordered some of their compression workout pants about two years ago as they only had the larger sizes online. I was pleasantly surprised to find they were now in the store up to a 2XXL, which is about a size 20-22.  This is my Old Navy gym outfit.

The top is purple and the bottom is gray camo. The back of the top is actually mesh but it overlaps so there’s not much showing. Yeah, you can see the back of my sports bra. Who cares? I’m such a rebel these days!  (HAH!) This one was a little pricey and I wouldn’t have bought it had it not been for the extreme sale. I’m wearing a size large as the XL didn’t support Jabba the Gut. I am not comfortable with my floppy bits flopping about, especially while working out.

My honest impression of Old Navy active wear: Good styles and prints. A little on the expensive side, so  wait for sales! From my experience, the sizes are not always consistent so try it on first.

Lots of Choices

As I said in my prior post, there is explosive growth in the plus-size active wear market. You can get outfits and separates in many places, including JC Penney, Walmart, Target and other big box/mall stores. Even Nike, that staunch defender of the Just Do It thin folks, has started carrying larger sizes. (Two words:  Cha Ching!!!) It’s actually fairly easy to find active wear up to a 3X. However, if you’re larger, don’t despair! I’m doing some research into extended-size active wear. I know it’s out there and I WILL find it. Stay tuned.

Oh, do you notice my huge feet? For some reason, that and my big gut are all I see when I look at these pics. LOL  I am barely 5’1″ (if I stand up real straight and suck it in hard) and yet I wear a size 9-9.5 shoe. My mother always said I wouldn’t tip over in a storm. For some reason, the shoes look HUGE to me although I’ve worn this size shoe since I was a young woman. We’re our own worst enemies, aren’t we?

Coming Up Next

Stay tuned for the next edition of Old Busted Hotness. Fridays are going to be reviews of catalogs, stores and other places to get stylish, wearable and reasonably-priced (for the most part) clothing for us, the older, larger woman who wants to look GOOD. I get a gazillion catalogs and have purchased (and returned) many, many things. The exploration starts in two days.

See ya then!

May 082017
 
My Head ShotAnd So It Begins. . .

What begins? So glad you’ve asked. Me, OBH, a/k/a Old Busted Hotness, a/k/a Carla, is jumping into the world of plus-size blogging, but. . . with a twist. What’s the twist? This one is for us gals WELL over the age of consent. There are many excellent plus-size blogs out there but the oldest gal I’ve seen blogging is maybe 40. As many of you know, I have socks older than that. So here I am. I’m still what society calls plus-size and I’m OLD. Perfect fit. We have money to spend, too, and I am forging ahead with the intention of making us a force to be reckoned with!

So What Will This Be About?

Clothes and, more importantly, the challenges we face as we age in a body larger than the average bear. I should point out right up front here that I am militant about, “Wear whatever the **** you want.” If you want to wear goth, wear it and wear it proudly. If you want to wear something more conservative, wear that and wear it proudly. You will get my opinions and boy, oh boy, do I have ‘em! But in the end, it’s wear what makes you feel good about yourself. The gloves are coming off on, “You’re too old or too big to wear that!”

The BIG No-No

Something else I am militant about is NO BODY SHAMING. NONE, NADA, NEVER. I recently saw a supposedly fat-acceptance person shaming a thin person and what’s left of my hair stood up on end. My mind started calmly enough with the fact that nobody should EVER denigrate someone due to their size. Your weight or BMI is NOT your self-worth. And then I got mad and thought, “HOW DARE YOU???” Someone who has been made to feel less than human due to size doing that to another person? Nope, not on my watch. So if you feel the need to leave a size-shaming comment, suffice it to say your comment will be deleted, at best. At worst, you will be cursed into the next millennium!!!

Size vs. Health

One other point I want to make right from jump is that size does not equal health. I understand that excess weight aggravates some medical conditions. I’m not trying to say don’t strive for health. However, society, as a whole, still sees fat women as sitting on their collective asses and eating bon-bons all day. Nothing could be further from the truth for most of us. Want proof? Take a hard look at the increase in retailers selling plus-size active wear. If there was no market, there would be no gym clothes in 16-24 and beyond. Personally, I go to the gym 3 times a week and I do yoga once a week. I watch every bite that goes into my mouth, some due to medical problems and some due to trying to be the healthiest old fat lady I can be. Got a feisty grandbaby to chase!

The Big Why

Why am I doing this now? Because all of my life I have believed the hype that thin is good, fat is B-A-D. I have dieted until the cows come home, twisted myself into a pretzel trying to force this body into things that it was never meant for, swallowed probably thousands of dollars in miracle “cures” for fat and. . . just about anything else the so-called “experts” out there told me would make me “normal.” God, how I hate that word!!! To quote my longsuffering husband, “Normal is a setting on the dryer, nothing more.” He’s right. Why did it take me so long to learn that? Question for the ages, but I HAVE learned it. It’s finally my time. . . our time.

So let’s age together, folks. Flash those wrinkles and droopy bits proudly. If we are not what society wants to see, you know what? They can look in another direction. When I was young and a size who knows what, three guys at the beach followed me around yelling, “Look at the whale!” And I was in a bathing suit that covered almost all of me. I went home and cried. All I can say to those guys now is that if you’re still out there, don’t try it again. I’ve found my balls. Took me longer than it should have but, as the old adage goes, better late than never.

So. . . who’s with me?

OBH on Easter 2017

Dec 312016
 

Today is December 31st, 2016. Many are preparing to celebrate the end of this year. It was a year to remember, for sure. It was the year where the entertainment industry lost a lot of people, some expected, some not. It was the year the U.S. saw our political system devolve into something I can’t even describe. It was the year that civility and common decency flew out the window and online hatred soared to new heights. And while I deplore all of those things, I can’t really hate 2016 because, for us, it was also something magical, something wonderful and something miraculous. 2016 brought us the birth of Sybella Starr.

It happened on April 24th. She was due on the 28th so the text that my son and his lady were headed to the hospital wasn’t unexpected. It was a long day for her beautiful mommy, who ended up with a C-section just before 10 p.m. Sybella was here. The next generation arrived in a glorious seven-pound package!

Holding that little bundle for the first time was something I will remember the rest of my days. She was tiny but feisty, with a full head of dark hair and deep blue eyes that looked right into yours. Less than 24 hours old, she already followed the voices of Mommy and Daddy. At that moment, she was the most beautiful vision I had ever beheld.

As I write this, Sybella is eight months old. Those eight months have been a roller coaster ride for our family, definitely not all lollipops and roses. But through it all, there was Sybella. We did our best to visit every week. No matter how bad that week had been or how broken my heart was, somehow all was right with the world the minute that little girl was in my arms. That feeling would sustain me for the next seven days until I would race to hold her once more.

Sybella is growing up way too fast, as is the destiny of most children. She is trying to walk. She talks right in your face and I’m sure it’s the most scintillating conversation in the universe. I only wish I knew what she was saying. Soon, I will. She is funny, spirited, super intelligent and loves to play. She is the most beautiful baby in the world, according to her very prejudiced Nana and Pop-Pop. And while I am sure I will be saying things like this about subsequent grandangels, right now, it’s all Sybella. And what an “all” that is!

So good-bye 2016 and welcome to a bright, shiny New Year. I expect a lot from you, 2017, but you’re going to have to go a LONG way to beat April 24th, 2016, the dawning of the age of Sybella Starr.

 

Oct 212016
 

Vote in November 2016As I write this, we in the U.S. are just short of three weeks away from the most contentious presidential election of our time. I’ve been voting for many years and have never seen anything quite like this. There may be logical reasons for it. I don’t know. All I know is that many of us are going to go to the polls to vote for (probably) one of the two most disliked candidates in history.

That being said, the answer is NOT sitting this one out. Despite the importance of picking the president, there are other contests on the ballots. There are local elections and questions. Go for those. Vote for any number of reasons but, please, do not stay home.

In that vein, let me offer you Old Busted Hotness’s Guide to Voting in the 2016 Election. Before I give you the benefit of my wisdom (HAH!), let me state that I am not in support of any candidate currently on the ballot, not the main two nor the lesser two. I offer no commentary on either side. I throw this out there for you and me, that we may vote without violating our collective consciences.

Old Busted Hotness’s Guide to Voting on November 8th, 2016

(1) If you openly support one of the two main candidates for president, by all means vote your choice.

(2) If you don’t like either one, but feel one of them is the lesser of two evils, by all means vote for that person.

(3) If you feel that one of the other two candidates more reflects your values and choices, by all means vote for one of them.

(4) If you feel that you cannot, in good conscience, vote for any of the main four, write someone in. If you supported someone in the primaries who didn’t make it, say, Bernie Sanders on the left or possibly Marco Rubio on the right, write their name in if you can. I say “if you can” for the following reason.

I have recently learned that Arkansas, Hawaii, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nevada, Oklahoma and South Dakota do not allow write-in votes on presidential ballots. Not sure how they did this, but that’s how it is. If you live in one of these states, you will have to make a selection from those on the ballot or leave it empty.

On the other hand, Alabama, Delaware, Iowa, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont and Wyoming let you write in anybody and anything. Vote your husband, your best friend or your dog, if you like. There are no restrictions.

The other 34 states all have some type of qualification to get on the ballot as a write-in candidate.

Whether any of this will change prior to November 8th is unknown. Many unprecedented things are happening this year. This information is as of my research today.

(5) If you don’t like the main four and you don’t want to write someone in, provided you can, leave this blank and go on to the local elections. These will probably have a greater effect on your day-to-day life.

( 6) Don’t forget the questions! These will impact what happens in your community and/or your state. If you have questions on your ballot, please answer them if you do nothing else.

The main consideration here is not violating your conscience. Too many years I have pushed a button or pulled a lever and felt like I had to take a shower as soon as I got home. This year, I have been getting brain cramps trying to figure out what I will do come election day. This is the process I’ve worked my way through and now I’m at peace with what I will do. . . . or not do.

Folks, November 8th is coming, like it or not. Please vote for who/what you feel you can. Alexis de Toqueville reportedly said, “In a democracy, people will elect the government they deserve.” After watching this election unfold, this statement scares the beejeebies outta me! So I will show up and do my best to cast my conscience. There is nothing more any of us can do.

OBH over and out!

Jul 202016
 

This girl is happy with losing weight, but it's not so easy when you're old!I’ve been fat for as long as I can remember. I was a chubby baby, a fat toddler, larger than the average bear in elementary school, nowhere near Twiggy in my high school years and. . . . well, you probably get the idea. I’ve been up and down 100+ pounds in my life more times than I’d like to admit to. However, the changes never bothered me until now. Losing weight in old age is definitely not the weigh (pun intended) to go, unless you have a drawer full of Spanx.

Let me first say that if you need to lose weight at any age, do it to get healthy. And the younger you do it, the better off you’ll be. I was told by a dermatologist that once you hit 35 or thereabouts, your skin doesn’t shrink back nicely anymore. Well, if it doesn’t do it at 35, let me tell you that you’re in deep doo-doo when you do it way, way, WAY past that point.

After struggling for 10 years or so at weight loss, I found a way of eating that worked for me. It’s slow, slow, slow but I have managed to drop a little more than 40 pounds over the past two years. Congratz are in order, right?  Not so fast.  Let’s do a pro/con analysis of the results.

The Nice Pros

I’m healthier. This is the most important part of the whole thing. My BP is down. My blood sugar is in good control. I move more easily.

I can Zumba! I love Zumba and after gaining enough weight, it became history with my mobility issues. Now I can Zumba once more. We won’t go into what I look like doing it, but I CAN do it.

I can buy clothing in the regular size department. Going from a 2X-3X to a size 14-16 is great. I’m not gonna lie about it. Mainly for access as it’s still easier to find a large than the X sizes in small town USA.

The Big Con

Everything I own is sagging, bagging or otherwise swinging. This ain’t funny, Universe!

Shall we talk flying squirrel arms? HAH! Mine will still be waving good-bye to you once you are not only out of town but out of the county and possibly out of the state, depending on the direction you’re going.

My thighs no longer rub together except at the very top. This should be a good thing, right?  Well, it would be if they didn’t slap each other about on each pass.

My neck. This shouldn’t even be discussed. Let’s just say I will give your next Thanksgiving turkey a run for his/her money.

Jowls? My basset hounds keep looking at me like, “Yeah, she’s trying to join our pack!!!”

My butt jiggles! I never had much of a butt to begin with, which is why I’m still aching from a fall two weeks ago. What I have left is now sliding down the backs of my thighs and jiggling when I walk.  Yes, join me in Ewwwwwwwwww!

And now we come to Jabba the Gut. I never had a totally flat stomach, not even close, but after multiple abdominal surgeries and the removal of most of my stomach muscles due to MRSA, the now almost empty skin slaps against the tops of my thighs and WORSE. (Best left to your imagination.)

To put it bluntly, I challenge any Sharpei to beat me at the latest wrinkly dog beauty pageant. They don’t stand a chance!!! Go out naked? HAH HAH HAH  I’d be in jail for murder as folks who saw me would literally die laughing. At the very least, they’d be buying out the world’s supply of eye bleach.

So what to do except look for ways to buy sufficient shares in Spanx to take me through the rest of my saggy baggy life?

My beautiful grandbaby will have an ACTIVE Nana!!!ENJOY IT!!!  Everything above is in fun, yet absolutely true. Still, I’m better off like this than I was before. I don’t believe you have to be thin to be healthy but, for me, at this point in my life, I’m healthier. And while I’m way past the age of worrying about keeping up with the Kardashians, my goal is to be able to run around with my new grandbaby when she is able, like my beloved grandmom did with me. Not a bad goal, actually.

 

I have a long, long way to go to be considered thin or even normal. Will I get there before I leave this earth? I honestly don’t know.  Film at 11. . .

Now where did I put that full-body Spanx?

OBH over and out!

Jun 082016
 

Doesn't want to do That Which Must Be DoneAs a young woman, I had no trouble at all forcing myself to do most anything that I knew had to be done. Back then, it was fairly simple and straightforward. When That Which Must Be Done arrived, I set my mind to it and I finished it.  Miller Time!

Well, that was then and this is now. These days I no longer have the determination and perseverance of my younger self. I have to kick, yank and shove myself into the battle to do something I just don’t wanna do. If you’re old busted self is having this same problem, here are a six tips to force yourself to do That Which Must Be Done.

Comfortable Clothes

Put on some of your favorite old, comfy clothes to do That Which Must Be Done. This is not the time for a new outfit or something you need industrial-strength Spanx to get into. Now is the time for your old sweats, leggings, ratty tee shirts and, yes, even your pajamas. If it’s comfy and you feel good in it, put it on. Now if you are comfortable in formal clothes, by all means. . .

Comfortable Temperature

If it’s summer and you die in the heat but you’re trying to save money on the electric bill, put the air conditioning on just to get the task done. Freeze the house out if you have to. It’s only for a short time until you finish. And in reverse, if you’re freezing your arse off to try and save money on the heating bill, put on a comfy sweater and turn the heat up, again for a very limited time. Get that room to what’s comfortable for you and attack That Which Must Be Done.

Good Sniffs

Put your favorite scent in your Scentsy burner or light your favorite candle. Just need a temporary fix? Try room sprays. Lavender is relaxing for many. Vanilla works for a lot of folks, too. You know what your favorite scent it. Aroma therapy works.  Use it for That Which Must Be Done.

Favorite Music

If your task doesn’t require listening, grab your phone, tablet or laptop and click on Pandora, Spotify or your favorite play list. Get that music going, but only stuff you absolutely love. For me, it’s soft instrumental music or classical in the background, but if AC/DC gets your motivation going, turn it up!

Favorite Beverage

Like a nice cup of coffee or tea? Maybe a blend you keep for company or a special occasion? Heads up! This is your special occasion. Break it out and use the nice china cup while you’re at it. If hot chocolate gets your motor running, that’s fine, too. If you love cold drinks, fix whatever will keep you comfortable while you’re doing That Which Must Be Done. If iced tea, lemonade, soda (yeah, yeah, I know) or just ice cold water will do the trick, drink it.

The Promise of a Reward

Yes, I know this sounds a bit juvenile, but why do you think a reward system works with kids? Because we’re all human, that’s why. After doing a task that we’ve been avoiding, we want a treat. It doesn’t have to be anything big. No, you’re not going to buy yourself a brand new 70″ flat screen for balancing your checkbook, but how about rewarding yourself with an hour of reading? Maybe a nice long walk or a trip to the mall (sans credit cards unless you have money to burn). If you’re an exercise maven, promise yourself a nice run, a bike ride or a Zumba class. It doesn’t have to be material, but it does have to be something you really, really enjoy.

One Final Word

If you really, really, REALLY hate doing That Which Must Be Done and you absolutely can’t bring yourself to do it but it would adversely affect your life if it doesn’t get done, see if you can recruit a family member or friend to do it for you. And, yes, your reward will go to them, but at least the job will get done.

Sanity restored.

OBH over and out!

May 282016
 

PHOTO Heart Gear Free Digital Photo.net

Every now and then, Old Busted Hotness sees a story on the news that grabs her heart and brings tears to her eyes. Okay, okay. . . maybe bawls like a baby is a more descriptive phrase. That’s what I did this morning when I read the story of former college football coach Don Horton and how the men he inspired are paying it back to their coach in his hour of need.

 

A Little Background

Don Horton is a football coach. He spent ten years as a coach at Boston College and six years coaching at North Carolina State University. He has Parkinson’s disease. After ten years with the disease, he’s now in hospice care. He is 58 years old.

What He Did

He loved them. He took care of his players like they were his own kids. He called them “his men.” He made a difference in their lives. He was never a head coach but pro baller after pro baller will tell you stories of what he did for them. Just one. . .

“With coach Horton, it was the way he made us feel outside the meeting rooms and practice fields,” said former Cleveland Browns offensive lineman Paul Zukauskas. “He was a guy that could be tough as a coach, but he’d ask how your family was doing. He really took the time to get to know everybody.”

What They’re Doing

Paul Zukauskas is now a high school football coach in Massachusetts. Upon hearing of Horton’s illness, he wanted to help. Along with Ricky Brown and Al Washington, he set up a Go Fund Me page to raise money for final expenses and a college fun for Horton’s two daughters. To date, they’ve raised almost $39,000 with donations from Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan, Tampa Bay Buccaneers offensive lineman Gosder Cherilus and former New York Giants defensive end Mathias Kiwanuka, just to name a few.

Let the Bawling Like a Baby Commence

Raising money is nice. It’s necessary in times like this. But what Don’s wife, Maura, worried about most was whether their 13 and 8-year-old daughters will remember their dad for the man he was. The youngest has only known him sick.

“We keep saying over and over we’re going to be all right. I’m not letting in, because it’ll just be me single parenting. I’m not going to give in,” the 46-year-old said between tears. “They need to be who they are going to be but with the values that Don wanted them to have: education and perseverance.”

The Lost Art of Letter Writing

Melanie Walker, a friend of the family, decided to help the girls remember. She asked people who knew Don Horton to write letters to his daughters, sharing favorite moments, as a way for the girls to know their dad. The players Don had touched began to write. (Quick sample as I’m crying again.)

“In a football world where players are treated as numbers, you treated us as people, and stood out,” wrote Ryan Utzler, former running back at Boston College.

In an emotional letter from former Boston College player DuJuan Daniels, now a scout for the New England Patriots, Daniels told the girls how their father impacted him starting in high school.

“When I sat down with your dad that day at my school, I knew he was the coach that I wanted to follow,” he wrote to Horton’s daughters. “He cared about school, he cared about your family, he cared about you, the kid he was welcoming into his family. I knew he would look after me, just like he promised my mom, sister and grandmother he would with me being hundreds and hundreds of miles away from the only place I had ever known,” Daniels wrote. “I can assure you that your dad, Don Horton, had a heart of solid gold. You two, along with your mom, Maura, are forever entrenched in it. I am happy to call you two my ‘little sisters.’ ”

The stories will get to you. They sure got to this old lady.

How You Can Help (click on the links)

If you’d like to send prayers or kind words to Don Horton, you can email him at walkermp.com.

You can donate to help his family on the Go Fund Me page.

You can purchase from MagnaReady. One day after a North Carolina State game, Horton’s limited dexterity prevented him from being able to button his shirt. One of his players, Russell Wilson, now quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, quietly came over to help the coach. That’s when Maura Horton created MagnaReady, a line of magnetic shirts for people with disabilities.

The Legacy

Maura Horton’s hope is that memories of her husband, who truly touched the lives of many, will last. “People can make such a difference in such a short time in life,” she said. “I feel very protective of the girls, and I want them to know how loved they were and how special he was, to be able to be those kind of human beings that will change the world, too.”

PHOTO Horton Family courtesy of

All quotes are from a CNN article which you can read in its entirety HERE.

Warning: Bring LOTS of extra tissues. You’re gonna need ‘em.

OBH over and out.