Carla Ives, Author at Old Busted Hotness

Carla Ives

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Valentine’s Day (Old Fart) Special Edition

Feb 142013

I’ve seen a lot of professions of love, beautiful Valentine’s Day cards and many warm and loving sentiments floating across my Facebook newsfeed this morning. Then I saw an article by my friend Michele Gwynn about what folks really want for Valentine’s Day. You can read that HERE. And then it occurred to me that most of what I was looking at was for younguns. Some of us are no longer young. So that got me to thinking. . . what would older folks want for Valentine’s Day.

Well, if you’re married, I think you want to be remembered. Cards, flowers and candy sometimes get lost in the progression of years and it becomes just another day. Even a peck on the cheek with a heartfelt greeting of “Happy Valentine’s Day” can do it for you. If you get more than that. . . WOOT!

No card, peck on the cheek or otherwise? Make your love’s favorite dinner. You’ve been together a long time. You know what it is. If dinner can’t be changed, make cupcakes or some other quick and easy dessert that’s your love’s favorite. Even a drink can be special. Sprinkle some cinnamon in a cup of hot chocolate. It’s easy to say, “Hey, I appreciate you hangin’ around this long and I’m glad you’re still here.” Sounds like a lot less than a gushy, passionate “I LOVE YOU,” but after you’ve been together for a long, long time, you’ll see what I mean.

I think what I’m trying to say here is that instead of hearts and flowers and pronouncements of romantic love, what you’re trying to say is what an old song by the group Orleans says. . . You’re still the one! Remember that? Click here if you’d like to listen. 🙂 “You’re Still the One” by Orleans

If you’re alone, this may be one of the worst holidays for you. Everyone’s preaching love and togetherness. You probably feel like you just don’t belong. So love yourself. Buy yourself some flowers or candy or a little something you want. Reach out. You’re not the only lonely person out there. Go to a nursing home and visit. Don’t laugh. My grandmom used to volunteer in a nursing home when she was older than most of the residents! You will put smiles on people’s faces but the best part is you’ll put a warm glow in your own heart.

If you’re an older couple on a fixed or tight income, there are a lot of things you can do to show your love that you care without breaking that already meager bank.

Make a Valentine card. Go to the dollar store and get some construction paper. Surely you remember construction paper? Play like you’re a kid again and make a Valentine. It doesn’t have to be perfect or look like it came from Hallmark. That’s the beauty of it. Write your heart on that red paper. Cut up a paper lace doily (yes, they still make them) and trim. Voila! Instant love.

Dinner at a fancy restaurant is nice, but getting a coffee from Starbucks or other coffee shop is nice, too. A burger at McDonald’s will do the trick (if your heart can take it). The point is to eat the meal with the one you love. What you eat is really unimportant. Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup at home will work just as well.

Need an inexpensive Valentine gift? Fancy chocolates are great, but you can just as easily go buy some candy hearts (that dollar store again!) and put them in a fancy Valentine box or tie them up in a square of red felt or even paper; adorn with a ribbon. If you know your person has a favorite candy bar, one of those will do just fine, too. It’s the love that counts, not the price tag.

If you can afford a movie, that’s a nice night out. If not, rent one from one of the red or blue boxes. Our Redbox rents for $1.28. Get some hot chocolate or other beverage of choice and cuddle up on the sofa.

There are lots of things you can do, even if you are an old fart, and, yeah, it’s sill early on Valentine’s Day, so if you’re old and thinking this day is past you or you’re still young and in love but broke, there are many things you can do. Now go show someone you love them!

Personal Revelation Moments Come to All

Musings, Uncategorized 3 Responses »

Feb 112013

Pope Benedict XVI shocked the world this morning with the announcement that he would resign the Papacy at the end of this month. He not only caught Catholics worldwide unaware, but even his close friends claim they didn’t know he was going to do it.

He’s old and he’s sick. He’s probably tired, too. And while 85 is not ancient, as Popes go, he’s still getting up there. He had a stroke in the early 1990s and I believe I read he has heart problems, too. They say he tried to resign before becoming Pope, but stayed on as a favor to his good friend Pope John Paul II.

You know what I think? I think he woke up this morning and had a moment of personal revelation. Revelation about what, you say? It’s waking up and realizing things have to change and change now. Right now. That you can’t go one minute longer with things the way they are. You can’t do what you did yesterday without dire consequences or even. . . death.

Those of us with chronic illnesses known these moments well. Some of us know only one. Some of us know many more.

It’s waking up in the morning and you can’t swing your legs out of bed. All those errands you have to do will have to be done by someone else.

It’s waking up and your hands don’t work anymore. All those articles you were going to write aren’t going to get written until your hands (hopefully) come back to life or you finally install that Dragon software that’s hiding on a top shelf.

It’s not being able to get through the day without intense pain unless you rest a few minutes an hour. You didn’t have to do that yesterday, but you do today.

Personal revelation. Not crying about it. No wringing of hands. Simply knowing your life has to change and it has to change now.

I think that’s why Pope Benedict did what he did. I think with all his ills and the fact that he’s getting on in years, all the hatred directed at him over his stances on modern issues, just. . . well, all of it. I think he woke up and said, “Lord, I simply can’t do this anymore. Forgive me.” And then he wrote his formal resignation and shocked the world.

If you haven’t had one of these moments yet, trust me when I say you will. It may come at 18. Like Pope Benedict, it may not come until you’re 85. But a personal revelation moment will come. What will you do? You’ll have to change. You’ll have to change right now. My prayer is that you will be ready.

Some Things Shouldn’t be Passed Down

Serious Stuff 4 Responses »

Feb 042013

My 16-year-old was in the bathroom the other day getting ready to go out. Nothing unusual. Her makeup was all over the bathroom counter and her straightening iron was getting good and hot to take the gorgeous waves out of her hair, the way she likes it. I happened to glance down at my watch and note the time. She wasn’t due where she was going for 2 – 3 hours yet. And then I looked at the shirt she was planning on wearing, casually tossed over the chair, NOT one of my favorites. My mouth was open with words on the tip of my tongue and. . . I bolted out of there like the hounds of hell were hot on my tail.

Why? Because the image that jumped into my mind was of a 16-year-old me, looking in a bathroom mirror, my makeup all over the bathroom counter, hair spray in hand, all decked out in my new tent dress that I made myself (and it looked store bought!) out of some great psychedelic material and. . . my mother walking in, looking at me, making that disdainful noise she always made when she looked at me and saying. . . “Are you honestly going out looking like THAT?”

My 16-year-old heart was crushed. I had just spent 2 – 3 hours trying to look good. I was never as pretty as that kid of mine is so I worked extra hard at it. And in eight words, the person who was supposed to love me no matter what shot me down and shot me down hard. She did it all the time. And I was just about to pass on the tradition.

My mother was about to come out of my mouth. Will this woman never leave me? She didn’t like me. I was and still am an embarrassment to her, the way she sees it. I will be working at getting her out of my head until the day they nail me into a box. But this is something that has to stop here and now. I have to be more aware. I have vowed not to repeat the pattern.

Admittedly, my kiddo is a bit stuck on herself. Why? Because in an effort to not do what was done to me, I have told her since Day 1 that she is beautiful, intelligent, hot, the best, that she can do whatever she sets out to do. Some have told me I created a monster. Maybe. She has problems that I didn’t create, but one thing she doesn’t have is a problem with her self-worth.

Apparently, though, I haven’t broken that chain entirely yet. I was about to say something derogatory to her about what she was going to wear. Did it matter? Probably not. The shirt she was wearing was not something I’d wear. Gee, I wonder why? She’s 16 and I’m 60. I thought it looked “trashy,” but it covered her. She’ll grow out of some of this. I didn’t wear the same stuff at 21 that I did at 16. I know this. But there I was, about to inflict the same kind of damage that I’ve been fighting against all my life.

The good news is that I stopped in time. This time. Will I stop in time next time? Oh, Lord, I hope so. No matter what problems the two of us have (and we have some whoppers), I never want her to look in the mirror and hate what she sees, to think she’s not pretty enough, not smart enough. . . simply not good enough. I know that feeling and wouldn’t inflict it on my worst enemy, let alone someone I love.

This is one of those experiences that has made me think. In itself, it’s not much of anything, really. But that “nothing” could have done some serious damage. She’s fragile. What almost 17-year-old girl isn’t? So I will be on my guard for next time, because there will be a next time. That’s how serious this type of damage is. It’s like it never leaves you, but I am damned and determined not to pass it on.

Can Old Busted Hotness do it? Film, as they say, at 11.

Big Brother is watching and his name is Facebook

Life's Little Observations 4 Responses »

Jan 282013

Did you ever take real close notice of how Facebook seems to know everything about you? It knows what you do, what you like, what you purchase, where you go and a whole lot of other stuff. Pretty soon, it’s going to know when you take a bathroom break! Facebook is watching you.

Most of us sorta kinda know this and we tolerate it. You can’t do internet business these days without Facebook and it is THE best way to keep up with friends and family. It provides a service. . . a valuable one. And, therefore, I guess, Zuck and company feel they can pry into everything in our lives in return. It’s one of those necessary evils of the modern age.

This morning, however, I noticed something new in Facebook’s observant ways. When I went to say Happy Birthday to the names that came up on the right side of the page, there was the standard window to type your greeting in, but there was also something else. Actually, I had noticed the line about, “Do you want to send Poindexter a gift?” before. I’m like, “Yeah, if I want to send him a gift, I’ll do it myself. Bite me.”

But today there was an added attraction. I got a list of Poindexter’s likes! Under the box was the “Do you want to send Poindexter a gift” routine and then. . . a list of what Poindexter likes! In this case, my Poindexter likes Starbucks, 1-800-Flowers and I forget what else.

So busybody me decided to click on the Starbucks link to see what it did. It took me to a page to purchase a $5 Starbucks gift card for Poindexter. A couple of clicks and VOILA. . . instant birthday gift! Now I can see where this could come in handy, especially if someone was close to you and you forgot their birthday. It says “I care,” a little bit more than just writing “Happy Birthday” on their wall does. But still. . .

People that I would spend money on a gift for, well, I know what they like. I don’t need to be told. When I thought about it for more than a few seconds, it felt creepy. I love being reminded of birthdays and it takes maybe 5 seconds to write “Happy Birthday” in that box and brighten someone’s day. But now Facebook is trying to make me spend money and then telling me what to spend it on. This could make Old Busted Hotness mighty paranoid if they keep it up!

What gets to me is how they seem to be watching us outside of Facebook, too. I’ve had things pop up on my sidebars that I’ve looked at on Amazon and a few other mass market retailers. Are they connected? If so, wouldn’t it be nice to let us know? Does Facebook have tracking cookies that follow us all over the net? It’s one thing to shadow us on Facebook, but other places?

I know that Facebook is one big advertising ploy to bring advertisers to it by providing them with a humongous potential customer base, but come on, Zuck. . . you’re seriously starting to creep me out. If I sign on one day and hear “Twilight Zone” music, Old Busted Hotness is gonna really freak out big time! I can guarantee you it won’t be pretty.

My vote is in. . . yes, Facebook IS a time waster!

Life's Little Observations 6 Responses »

Jan 212013

Old Busted Hotness lives out in Lower Cowpie Heaven. Things here don’t quite work the way they do in regular civilization, especially power and internet connections. We have Wifi, but it’s not too steady.However, in trying to make do, I’ve put up with a flaky internet connection for quite some time. Just one of those things.

Well, I decided I was tired of this particular “thing” the other day when I kept losing my connection and couldn’t work. I was out of internet service for hours at a time. Finally, hubby was able to hard wire me in to the internet connection. Big difference!

So what does this have to do with Facebook being at time waster? A lot. During those hours of down time, I picked up my Kindle and read. I read. . . oh, let’s see. . . two novels and and a handful of business advice books. I haven’t read anything serious in a long time. Why? I’ve been inhabiting the land of Facebook.

Now that’s not necessarily a bad thing, provided you have the time. If you don’t have to meet deadlines and your house is spotless, kids fed and you’re stuck with just you, time on your hands and a cat on your lap, Facebook is a great way of keeping in touch, engaging with friends, playing games, you name it. I can hear you now. . . “But Old Busted Hotness, you work on Facebook. What’s the problem?”

Weeeeeeeeel, the problem is that in the seconds that I’m not writing articles and/or in my Facebook writers’ groups, my almost senior citizen mind starts to wander. Facebook is colorful. Over 600 of my friends live there. People post interesting links. People post great photos. I will be working along, really kicking tushy and takin’ names and. . . SQUIRREL! Next thing I know it’s 20 minutes later and I’m behind myself once again. Do that a few times a day (or more than a few) and you start to get way, way, WAY behind.

Now I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t even play games. I just looked. But with Facebook, that’s all you have to do. Those pretty colors, engaging pictures, intriguing links and fun stuff from your friends just scroll on by. I mean, hey, how can I NOT look? I really do try, but. . . I’m human and the powers that be know that all too well. Damn you, Zuck!

I really can’t afford to waste time on Facebook except for posting my articles and taking a brief glance (is there such a thing?) at my news feed and private messages every once in awhile. So knowing this and being a responsible adult (ahmmmmm), why do I get stuck every time I hit that Facebook tab up in the corner of Chrome? I’m not lazy, but I am curious. . . very curious. And you know what they say about that. SIGH

So if any of you have a cure for my Facebook time wasting problem, please leave a comment down below. I need to use Facebook to further my writing career; I just don’t need to waste time on Facebook, especially those interesting links, engaging photos, fun friend stuff and. . . SQUIRREL!

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