Life's Little Observations Archives - Page 6 of 8

Panty Raid!

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May 152017

Panties, undies, choners, unmentionables or whatever you call them, we all need ‘em unless, that is, you’re a commando type of gal. There are a gazillion styles out there now in all sizes. But if you don’t want granny panties and you’re not quite ready for what I lovingly call butt floss, how do you find something comfortable in between? What follows is a humorous look at my (frustrating) hunt for the perfect panties.

Body Oddities

Due to surgery and stomach muscle removal from a nasty little thing called MRSA, I am plagued with Jabba the Gut and the relatively flat ass I was born with. Therefore, while I don’t quite want grannie panties, hipsters and bikinis don’t work for me. They’re uncomfortable and create more rolls than Pillsbury. However, I do have certain demands for what is under my jeans. No tighty-whities. I was forced into white undies from diapers till I left home. I was taught you gotta be able to bleach “da curse” outta them. Well, I’ve been spayed since 1998, so no more. Now I like ’em wild and colorful!!!

My Preferences

(1) MUST be cotton
(2) MUST be stretch cotton (due to said problem with Jabba the Gut)
(3) MUST have a fairly strong waistband
(4) MUST come all the way up to my waisted line
(5) MUST not need a personal loan from the bank to afford
(6) Did I already say they MUST be loud and colorful? 🙂

The Perfect Panties That Were

These were the Avenue originals I was happy with for years until I found Lane Bryant’s

I found the perfect panties that met all these requirements a few years back at Avenue. And then one day I found an even better version of the style at Lane Bryant. So I started buying them there. I would wait for the semi-annual sales and buy 6-8 pair at a time.

Last year, my body told me it needed to be smaller. I have movement issues and it’s not rocket science to know that a smaller body is easier to move through the time/space continuum. The birth of a very feisty grandbaby to chase brought this home even more. So when I could pull my fave Lane Bryant panties up over my boobs, I happily trotted back to LB for new ones, a size smaller.

And then came the day that I happily trotted back to Lane Bryant to get the next size down. . . only to discover there was NO next size down. “No problem,” says I. I will simply find them elsewhere a size smaller. “HAH HAH HAH,” says the fashion industry.

What I Wanted

These are the Jockeys I wanted for history’s and other sakes, but couldn’t find in a size to fit me

I decided I needed Jockeys. Growing up, undies were called jockeys in my home. Then I discovered that Jockey isn’t overly fond of fat folk. The largest I found were a size 7. Maybe with stretch, but as they were? Not even with a prescription! I should clarify that they don’t seem to like fat women. Their mens’ undies come in a much wider size range. Oh, and did I mention that a 3-pack is $22.50? So no Jockeys for me. I should note here that I have just discovered that Jockey does indeed make plus sizes. Of course, these cost even more and you have to order them from their website as most stores only carry the smaller sizes.

The Hunt

Finding any type of decent full briefs is a pain in the butt (yes, pun intended). I repeat. . . I will NOT wear white granny panties. Yes, I’m a granny but. . . as previously noted more than once, I like bright colors, a decent fabric and a good waistband. Yes, I am willing to pay a little more for these features. But finding it? Nobody wants my money. . . or so it seems.

First stop, the internet. I decided to search. And search and search and. . . . well, you get the idea. Yes, my searches were specific. I would put in “stretch cotton ladies briefs” and would get. . . microfiber panties, nylon panties, bikini panties, hipster panties, the aforementioned butt floss and on and on and on and on. Did you not notice, Google, that I said stretch cotton briefs? And I thought you were my friend. 🙁

Hours were spent at Walmart, Target, JC Penney, anywhere they sold ladies underwear here in Lower Cowpie Heaven. As my old ones were wearing out and/or falling down, I needed something fast. I should note here I tried a variety of specialty undies, different fabrics, cuts, etc., just in case I could fudge my standards a bit. Nope. Didn’t work.

What I Got

So I finally decide I have to buy something and pick up a package of el cheapos at Wally’s. They were high cut but it was all I could find in the size. They were very, very thin and as see-through as a sheet of Saran Wrap despite their bright patterns and colors. Actually, they fit well, but I am not a gentle old lady by any means. I tend to yank things up and down and the waistband tore on the first wearing. Oh well, they’re tucked away for when I forget to do the wash. I should note here for those who can wear them, there is a new brand at Walmart, Target, etc. called Fit For Me that are wonderful. They start at size 9. I would have adored these a few years ago.

Next came Fruit of the Loom. Good ‘ole reliable Fruit of the Loom. We hunted. We searched. We damn near threw packages of underwear on the floor looking for the correct size. Finally, my husband spotted a package that said “briefs” and not “modern briefs,” code for just try to get these puppies up above your belly button! The Holy Grail lives! Well, all I can say is that they are somewhat better than the first ones. Nicer fabric, softer. But. . . they are much larger in the size than the first batch and still see-through thin. And a few bucks more per package.

The one-offs. I have purchased singles in a variety of places, all very disappointing. Had I found one that fit all my requirements, I would have gone back and purchased every pair in the store.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner! For now, these fit the bill from WW

Catalog to the Rescue

While perusing the Woman Within catalog for my first blog review, I thought I saw something in the panty pages. I thumbed right by. Then I went back. Surely, it couldn’t be. . . BUT IT WAS! The same kind of (yes, by all that is holy, it said stretch cotton briefs!!!) panties I had purchased at Avenue and Lane Bryant. And wonder of wonders, they came in a size smaller than what I had! A coupon made them reasonable, shipping included, so I placed an order. Panty heaven, at least for now.

How About You?

What style undies do you prefer? Why? Where do you get them? Help an OBH out here, K?

See ya next time!

BTW, I am not affiliated with any of the companies featured here. I put the links in for your convenience should you decide to check ’em out. 🙂

Workin’ It Out In Style

Life's Little Observations, Musings, Uncategorized No Responses »

May 102017

Do you work out? I do. If I’m being perfectly honest with you, I’d rather not but. . . I’m afraid not to. Age and illness have taken their toll and, if I sit too long, there are consequences. So off I go to the gym and yoga. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lately, I see lots of other folks there who look just like me, older and larger than the average bear. I used to go in old (lady) pants and tee shirts. But one day I looked around at all the ladies rockin’ their cute active wear outfits and decided, “Why the hell not?” I left the gym, headed to Lane Bryant and snagged me an outfit.

That First Outfit

This was that first outfit. (Yes, my flying squirrel upper arms are showing, thank you very much! 😉 ) The mannequin was wearing the only one in my size. I stripped that gal nekkid in a heartbeat and bought it. LOL The top is royal blue with the word INSPIRE on it. I needed that. The pants are actually capris but I’m mega short, remember? They’re sorta kinda crops on me but I can yank them up to the knees if necessary. You can’t see it well here, but there is a multi-colored stripe down the side of the pants that matches the word INSPIRE.

Super comfy. Easy care. All the good stuff. And not too expensive to boot. I’m wearing a 14-16 in this pic. You will note that most of my tops will be tight around Jabba the Gut. If I buy them bigger, they tend to swim on me in all other places and make me look sloppy. So I just go with the snug middle look.

My honest impression of Lane Bryant active wear: Good quality, reasonable price (on sale) but not a huge selection. That being said, they are getting more and more as larger women are becoming more active.

But Wait, I Need More!

I’m going to the gym 3-4 times a week. OMG, I need another outfit!!! Back to Lane Bryant I went. Problem was they didn’t have another one that I really liked. As this blog moves forward, you’ll find out how picky (anal) I am about what I spend my hard-earned clothing bucks on. So remembering that Google is my friend, I found Fabletics.

Fabletics is an exercise wear company founded by Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn’s daughter. She’s late 30-ish and in amazing shape. When I first heard of them, they had kind of a bad rep. They apparently made some changes because, all of a sudden, I began hearing good things about them. All the models look like Kate Hudson and not me, not by a long shot. I didn’t know if the clothes would fit. I got a good deal through a friend, though, so I tried an outfit. When it arrived, I was like. . . uh-uh, no way. But. . . does shuckin’ and jivin’ into compression pants classify as a workout? It should!!!

As you can see, this one is a royal blue top with LOUD leggings. Luv me some wild prints! I’m wearing a size 14-16 which is an XL in their size range.

Fabletics is a membership site. Every first of the month they debut new outfits for that month. You have five days to decide if you want something and boy, oh boy, do the outfits sell out quick! Outfits are $49.95 and up, usually with free shipping. If you don’t make a selection by the 5th OR SKIP THE MONTH (more in a moment), they put a $49.95 charge on your credit card that you can use whenever you’d like. You can skip a month at any time. Believe me, I’ve skipped most of the months that I’ve been subscribed. SHAMELESS DISCLAIMER: If you click THIS LINK and sign up, you get two pair of leggings for $24, which is the current sign-up special. And I get something for it, too. 🙂

My Honest Impression of Fabletics: Great style, good fit, easy to navigate website and membership plan. GREAT NEWS!!! They just started carrying some kickass plus sizes up to a 24. I like the leggings much better than the tops. The three pair of leggings I own are very strong and supportive. The tops not so much, but they look good!

Old Navy

One day I decided I needed something new to encourage me to go to the gym. I ended up in Old Navy, attracted by a sign that said BIG SALE ON ACTIVE WEAR. I had ordered some of their compression workout pants about two years ago as they only had the larger sizes online. I was pleasantly surprised to find they were now in the store up to a 2XXL, which is about a size 20-22. This is my Old Navy gym outfit.

The top is purple and the bottom is gray camo. The back of the top is actually mesh but it overlaps so there’s not much showing. Yeah, you can see the back of my sports bra. Who cares? I’m such a rebel these days! (HAH!) This one was a little pricey and I wouldn’t have bought it had it not been for the extreme sale. I’m wearing a size large as the XL didn’t support Jabba the Gut. I am not comfortable with my floppy bits flopping about, especially while working out.

My honest impression of Old Navy active wear: Good styles and prints. A little on the expensive side, so wait for sales! From my experience, the sizes are not always consistent so try it on first.

Lots of Choices

As I said in my prior post, there is explosive growth in the plus-size active wear market. You can get outfits and separates in many places, including JC Penney, Walmart, Target and other big box/mall stores. Even Nike, that staunch defender of the Just Do It thin folks, has started carrying larger sizes. (Two words: Cha Ching!!!) It’s actually fairly easy to find active wear up to a 3X. However, if you’re larger, don’t despair! I’m doing some research into extended-size active wear. I know it’s out there and I WILL find it. Stay tuned.

Oh, do you notice my huge feet? For some reason, that and my big gut are all I see when I look at these pics. LOL I am barely 5’1″ (if I stand up real straight and suck it in hard) and yet I wear a size 9-9.5 shoe. My mother always said I wouldn’t tip over in a storm. For some reason, the shoes look HUGE to me although I’ve worn this size shoe since I was a young woman. We’re our own worst enemies, aren’t we?

Coming Up Next

Stay tuned for the next edition of Old Busted Hotness. Fridays are going to be reviews of catalogs, stores and other places to get stylish, wearable and reasonably-priced (for the most part) clothing for us, the older, larger woman who wants to look GOOD. I get a gazillion catalogs and have purchased (and returned) many, many things. The exploration starts in two days.

See ya then!

A NEW DIRECTION

Life's Little Observations, Musings, Uncategorized No Responses »

May 082017

And So It Begins. . .

What begins? So glad you’ve asked. Me, OBH, a/k/a Old Busted Hotness, a/k/a Carla, is jumping into the world of plus-size blogging, but. . . with a twist. What’s the twist? This one is for us gals WELL over the age of consent. There are many excellent plus-size blogs out there but the oldest gal I’ve seen blogging is maybe 40. As many of you know, I have socks older than that. So here I am. I’m still what society calls plus-size and I’m OLD. Perfect fit. We have money to spend, too, and I am forging ahead with the intention of making us a force to be reckoned with!

So What Will This Be About?

Clothes and, more importantly, the challenges we face as we age in a body larger than the average bear. I should point out right up front here that I am militant about, “Wear whatever the **** you want.” If you want to wear goth, wear it and wear it proudly. If you want to wear something more conservative, wear that and wear it proudly. You will get my opinions and boy, oh boy, do I have ‘em! But in the end, it’s wear what makes you feel good about yourself. The gloves are coming off on, “You’re too old or too big to wear that!”

The BIG No-No

Something else I am militant about is NO BODY SHAMING. NONE, NADA, NEVER. I recently saw a supposedly fat-acceptance person shaming a thin person and what’s left of my hair stood up on end. My mind started calmly enough with the fact that nobody should EVER denigrate someone due to their size. Your weight or BMI is NOT your self-worth. And then I got mad and thought, “HOW DARE YOU???” Someone who has been made to feel less than human due to size doing that to another person? Nope, not on my watch. So if you feel the need to leave a size-shaming comment, suffice it to say your comment will be deleted, at best. At worst, you will be cursed into the next millennium!!!

Size vs. Health

One other point I want to make right from jump is that size does not equal health. I understand that excess weight aggravates some medical conditions. I’m not trying to say don’t strive for health. However, society, as a whole, still sees fat women as sitting on their collective asses and eating bon-bons all day. Nothing could be further from the truth for most of us. Want proof? Take a hard look at the increase in retailers selling plus-size active wear. If there was no market, there would be no gym clothes in 16-24 and beyond. Personally, I go to the gym 3 times a week and I do yoga once a week. I watch every bite that goes into my mouth, some due to medical problems and some due to trying to be the healthiest old fat lady I can be. Got a feisty grandbaby to chase!

The Big Why

Why am I doing this now? Because all of my life I have believed the hype that thin is good, fat is B-A-D. I have dieted until the cows come home, twisted myself into a pretzel trying to force this body into things that it was never meant for, swallowed probably thousands of dollars in miracle “cures” for fat and. . . just about anything else the so-called “experts” out there told me would make me “normal.” God, how I hate that word!!! To quote my longsuffering husband, “Normal is a setting on the dryer, nothing more.” He’s right. Why did it take me so long to learn that? Question for the ages, but I HAVE learned it. It’s finally my time. . . our time.

So let’s age together, folks. Flash those wrinkles and droopy bits proudly. If we are not what society wants to see, you know what? They can look in another direction. When I was young and a size who knows what, three guys at the beach followed me around yelling, “Look at the whale!” And I was in a bathing suit that covered almost all of me. I went home and cried. All I can say to those guys now is that if you’re still out there, don’t try it again. I’ve found my balls. Took me longer than it should have but, as the old adage goes, better late than never.

So. . . who’s with me?

Lose The Weight Late; Buy The Spanx

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Jul 202016

I’ve been fat for as long as I can remember. I was a chubby baby, a fat toddler, larger than the average bear in elementary school, nowhere near Twiggy in my high school years and. . . . well, you probably get the idea. I’ve been up and down 100+ pounds in my life more times than I’d like to admit to. However, the changes never bothered me until now. Losing weight in old age is definitely not the weigh (pun intended) to go, unless you have a drawer full of Spanx.

Let me first say that if you need to lose weight at any age, do it to get healthy. And the younger you do it, the better off you’ll be. I was told by a dermatologist that once you hit 35 or thereabouts, your skin doesn’t shrink back nicely anymore. Well, if it doesn’t do it at 35, let me tell you that you’re in deep doo-doo when you do it way, way, WAY past that point.

After struggling for 10 years or so at weight loss, I found a way of eating that worked for me. It’s slow, slow, slow but I have managed to drop a little more than 40 pounds over the past two years. Congratz are in order, right? Not so fast. Let’s do a pro/con analysis of the results.

The Nice Pros

I’m healthier. This is the most important part of the whole thing. My BP is down. My blood sugar is in good control. I move more easily.

I can Zumba! I love Zumba and after gaining enough weight, it became history with my mobility issues. Now I can Zumba once more. We won’t go into what I look like doing it, but I CAN do it.

I can buy clothing in the regular size department. Going from a 2X-3X to a size 14-16 is great. I’m not gonna lie about it. Mainly for access as it’s still easier to find a large than the X sizes in small town USA.

The Big Con

Everything I own is sagging, bagging or otherwise swinging. This ain’t funny, Universe!

Shall we talk flying squirrel arms? HAH! Mine will still be waving good-bye to you once you are not only out of town but out of the county and possibly out of the state, depending on the direction you’re going.

My thighs no longer rub together except at the very top. This should be a good thing, right? Well, it would be if they didn’t slap each other about on each pass.

My neck. This shouldn’t even be discussed. Let’s just say I will give your next Thanksgiving turkey a run for his/her money.

Jowls? My basset hounds keep looking at me like, “Yeah, she’s trying to join our pack!!!”

My butt jiggles! I never had much of a butt to begin with, which is why I’m still aching from a fall two weeks ago. What I have left is now sliding down the backs of my thighs and jiggling when I walk. Yes, join me in Ewwwwwwwwww!

And now we come to Jabba the Gut. I never had a totally flat stomach, not even close, but after multiple abdominal surgeries and the removal of most of my stomach muscles due to MRSA, the now almost empty skin slaps against the tops of my thighs and WORSE. (Best left to your imagination.)

To put it bluntly, I challenge any Sharpei to beat me at the latest wrinkly dog beauty pageant. They don’t stand a chance!!! Go out naked? HAH HAH HAH I’d be in jail for murder as folks who saw me would literally die laughing. At the very least, they’d be buying out the world’s supply of eye bleach.

So what to do except look for ways to buy sufficient shares in Spanx to take me through the rest of my saggy baggy life?

ENJOY IT!!! Everything above is in fun, yet absolutely true. Still, I’m better off like this than I was before. I don’t believe you have to be thin to be healthy but, for me, at this point in my life, I’m healthier. And while I’m way past the age of worrying about keeping up with the Kardashians, my goal is to be able to run around with my new grandbaby when she is able, like my beloved grandmom did with me. Not a bad goal, actually.

I have a long, long way to go to be considered thin or even normal. Will I get there before I leave this earth? I honestly don’t know. Film at 11. . .

Now where did I put that full-body Spanx?

OBH over and out!

Paying It Back: The Don Horton Story

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May 282016

Every now and then, Old Busted Hotness sees a story on the news that grabs her heart and brings tears to her eyes. Okay, okay. . . maybe bawls like a baby is a more descriptive phrase. That’s what I did this morning when I read the story of former college football coach Don Horton and how the men he inspired are paying it back to their coach in his hour of need.

A Little Background

Don Horton is a football coach. He spent ten years as a coach at Boston College and six years coaching at North Carolina State University. He has Parkinson’s disease. After ten years with the disease, he’s now in hospice care. He is 58 years old.

What He Did

He loved them. He took care of his players like they were his own kids. He called them “his men.” He made a difference in their lives. He was never a head coach but pro baller after pro baller will tell you stories of what he did for them. Just one. . .

“With coach Horton, it was the way he made us feel outside the meeting rooms and practice fields,” said former Cleveland Browns offensive lineman Paul Zukauskas. “He was a guy that could be tough as a coach, but he’d ask how your family was doing. He really took the time to get to know everybody.”

What They’re Doing

Paul Zukauskas is now a high school football coach in Massachusetts. Upon hearing of Horton’s illness, he wanted to help. Along with Ricky Brown and Al Washington, he set up a Go Fund Me page to raise money for final expenses and a college fun for Horton’s two daughters. To date, they’ve raised almost $39,000 with donations from Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan, Tampa Bay Buccaneers offensive lineman Gosder Cherilus and former New York Giants defensive end Mathias Kiwanuka, just to name a few.

Let the Bawling Like a Baby Commence

Raising money is nice. It’s necessary in times like this. But what Don’s wife, Maura, worried about most was whether their 13 and 8-year-old daughters will remember their dad for the man he was. The youngest has only known him sick.

“We keep saying over and over we’re going to be all right. I’m not letting in, because it’ll just be me single parenting. I’m not going to give in,” the 46-year-old said between tears. “They need to be who they are going to be but with the values that Don wanted them to have: education and perseverance.”

The Lost Art of Letter Writing

Melanie Walker, a friend of the family, decided to help the girls remember. She asked people who knew Don Horton to write letters to his daughters, sharing favorite moments, as a way for the girls to know their dad. The players Don had touched began to write. (Quick sample as I’m crying again.)

“In a football world where players are treated as numbers, you treated us as people, and stood out,” wrote Ryan Utzler, former running back at Boston College.

In an emotional letter from former Boston College player DuJuan Daniels, now a scout for the New England Patriots, Daniels told the girls how their father impacted him starting in high school.

“When I sat down with your dad that day at my school, I knew he was the coach that I wanted to follow,” he wrote to Horton’s daughters. “He cared about school, he cared about your family, he cared about you, the kid he was welcoming into his family. I knew he would look after me, just like he promised my mom, sister and grandmother he would with me being hundreds and hundreds of miles away from the only place I had ever known,” Daniels wrote. “I can assure you that your dad, Don Horton, had a heart of solid gold. You two, along with your mom, Maura, are forever entrenched in it. I am happy to call you two my ‘little sisters.’ ”

The stories will get to you. They sure got to this old lady.

How You Can Help (click on the links)

If you’d like to send prayers or kind words to Don Horton, you can email him at walkermp.com.

You can donate to help his family on the Go Fund Me page.

You can purchase from MagnaReady. One day after a North Carolina State game, Horton’s limited dexterity prevented him from being able to button his shirt. One of his players, Russell Wilson, now quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, quietly came over to help the coach. That’s when Maura Horton created MagnaReady, a line of magnetic shirts for people with disabilities.

The Legacy

Maura Horton’s hope is that memories of her husband, who truly touched the lives of many, will last. “People can make such a difference in such a short time in life,” she said. “I feel very protective of the girls, and I want them to know how loved they were and how special he was, to be able to be those kind of human beings that will change the world, too.”

All quotes are from a CNN article which you can read in its entirety HERE.

Warning: Bring LOTS of extra tissues. You’re gonna need ‘em.

OBH over and out.

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