Aug 312017
 

OBH on Easter 2017Aging. It’s a taboo subject in the good ‘ole US of A. Youth is worshiped; old age is dreaded. It hit me a little later than some. I was carded until I was almost 40. Now they chase me with a senior discount. LOL

My 50s were my best decade. When I turned, 60, though, that bitch of an old age fairy let me have it but good! Everything started to sag, bag and droop. . . or so it seemed. If you haven’t experienced this yet, it’s coming to a theater near you. Here’s a bit of a humorous look on how to know you’re getting old.

Turkey wattles and other loosey goosey stuff. . .

This is probably the first thing I noticed. Everything got looser, for lack of a better word. Me and the Thanksgiving turkey have a lot in common these days, especially around the neck area. And it seems that no matter how many times I go to the gym, there are way too many dangly bits hanging about. For more on this phenomenon, check out If You’re Old and You Know It Flap Your Arms.

The pup ain’t the only one who needs pee pads. . .

And speaking of things getting loosey goosey. . . my friends used to call me a camel because I could hold it all day long.  Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.” 🙂 At the mildest urging I start looking for facilities. I know where all the public bathrooms are in town and the exact distance between them. Tena pads are great. But wait. . . there’s more in the loosey goosey department!

Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro. . .

I think it was Maya Angelou who said that her breasts were having a race to see which one would get to her waist first. Well, I think mine have achieved that goal and are now eying my knees as their next challenge! I am not particularly large (C cup) but. . . it’s getting very uncomfortable without a bra on these days. And that side boob action. . . I could kill small children with a single blow if I swing around too fast!

By the hair on my chinny chin chin. . .

There is an old joke that says an older woman’s hair thins as she ages so she can pay more attention to the hair on her face, or words to that effect. True Dat! The hair on my body all fell out about 10 years ago and what there was of it was blonde and red. It’s nice that I no longer have to shave the legs and pits, but the hair on my face is getting worse. AND to add insult to injury, that hair is black. I have tweezers and razors all over the house.

Slowly I turn. . .

Well, slowly I do everything these days, or so it seems. I was a real dynamo way back when. I spoke fast. I moved fast. I thought fast. Today it’s like. . . . well, it’s not fast. Oh, I try to move fast, but. . . fast and me no longer have a relationship. Both my body and brain go into giggle fits when I give it a go. I forget what I’m going to the kitchen for before I get there. It takes me twice as long to do things. And I trip over my own tongue trying to get thoughts out in the right order and with the correct verbiage. The little girl who still resides inside of me puts her hands on her hips with a bratty, “I DON’T WANNA SLOW DOWN!!!” Sadly, I have no choice. . . or else.

These are just some of the joys of the golden years. There are a lot more, but you know what? Living to a ripe old age means you’ve done just that, LIVED. Years ago, I saw a tag line on someone’s email that I’ve seen many times since. It has always stuck with me. It said, “Never regret getting old. Many are denied the privilege.”

And as that wise saying implies, it sure as hell beats the alternative. I’ve learned to just have a good giggle over all of the above, take a deep breath, roll up my boobs and stuff ‘em in my bra.

 

Jun 072017
 

Do you have a problem with shoes? Many women do. High heels are all the rage but, sadly, my days of wearing hot hoochie shoes are long gone. Even if they fit properly, I’d break my leg before the second step! Big fat feet can be a problem.

swollen summer feet

This is my left foot only HALF way swollen during the summer. 🙁

My Personal Tale of Woe

I have pretty straight size 9 medium feet. I can hear you now, “Those are NOT big fat feet!” Well, they are 3-5 months out of the year because my size 9 mediums swell in the summer. Horribly. Balloons. Can we spell G-O-O-D-Y-E-A-R  B-L-I-M-P, boys and girls? This has been going on since I was 9 years old and I’ve never quite gotten used to it. I have to keep a couple of pairs of wide or wide-wide summer shoes for when the feet get huge. Barefoot doesn’t work for everything.

Your Feet Change

Would you be amazed if I told you many of my size 4 friends have wide feet? It’s really not totally related to weight. Did you know that women’s feet grow and shrink with weight loss, childbirth and age? They do. Maybe you didn’t always have big fat or wide feet. Here’s a few ways they can change.

If you gain weight, you may need bigger shoes. I’ve been told by more than a few doctors that if you gain significant weight, you develop fat pads on the bottoms of your feet, on the sides of your feet and even in your toes. Conversely, if you lose a lot of weight your shoe size may decrease.

Childbirth causes many changes, including foot size. Sometimes, your feet shrink back and sometimes they don’t.

Aging can sometimes give you bigger feet, too. So if you were a size 7 in high school, there’s a good chance that life grabbed you by the big toe and you are no longer a size 7 now.

Cute Shoes

Let’s face it, all women want cute shoes, even those of us with big fat feet. When I was a young woman, wide shoes were definitely not cute. Now? You have a gazillion choices. And, yes, even hot hoochie heels if you can wear them! The choices are really endless and they are readily available in most places.

Brannock devices are accurate for foot measuring

Brannock Device. This is the most accurate way to get your correct foot size.

Know Your Size

In a moment, I’m going to give you a whole bunch of links where you can get really cute shoes in many sizes and widths. But before you order, do you know your accurate shoe size? Don’t laugh. Experts claim that many women actually don’t know their correct shoe size or, if they do, they stuff their feet into smaller shoes. Oh, the pain!

Find a Brannock device (see pic), you know, that thing you stick your feet in and move the top and side sliders until it fits your foot? Make sure your foot is not squeezed and you leave yourself some toe room. Have a shoe professional measure you, if possible. Nobody sees the size of your shoes so even if it’s a number you don’t like, who’s gonna notice?

Now Let’s Go Shopping

Now that you know the correct size, let’s go shopping! One of the very best places to get wide and/or large shoes is Woman Within. You can also get the shoes at Roamans or Jessica London (same parent company). They have it all. Cute sandals, high heels, pumps, gym shoes, you name it. And most of it comes in sizes 7 through 12, Medium, Wide and Wide-Wide. Check the item description of each pair to make sure the shoes you want come in your size. They also have their own brand called Comfortview. I’ve owned many. The comfort is real.

Woman Within
Roamans
Jessica London

Remember me telling you about Simply Be and JD Williams a few weeks back? They have lots of cute shoes, too, and most of them come in wide width. Some come in extra wide. When you shop from the USA websites, the sizes have been converted from the British.

Simply Be
JD Williams

Just this past Friday, we talked about Torrid. They have really, really, REALLY cute shoes, but in wide width only. And for those of you with Barney Rubble feet, they come in sizes 6 and 6.5 WIDE, very difficult to find in most places.

Torrid

Here are a few more places to look. As always, check out the item description carefully for each item you’re interested in. Many large retailers get their shoes from different manufacturers. Look for notes that say something like, “Runs small. Order up a half-size.” (Or a whole size!) And read the reviews from folks who have already purchased the shoes. That’s where you find the real scoop.

Amazon has everything, including shoes. . . tons and tons of shoes.
Limited styles but nice shoes available from Lane Bryant and Catherines.
QVC has many name brands in wide widths.
Same for Home Shopping Network.
And don’t forget the monstrous online shoe store Zappos.

The Bottom Line

If you are a shoe diva with big fat feet, you no longer have to settle for ugly shoes or basic styles. Many brick and mortar retailers are now carrying wide-width and larger size shoes. Online, the sky’s the limit! As always, once you find a brand that fits well, stick with it. Now hit the dance floor!

See ya next time!

May 312017
 

My parts don't matchDo your parts make up the classic female figure? You know, the one with the defined waist and matching bust and hips, ye olde 36-24-36 Marilyn Monroe ideal, give or take a few inches (or a few dozen inches).

Mine don’t. Simply put, my parts don’t match. So if you’re like me, finding a good fit is possible, but it’s gonna take some superb investigation skills to find clothes that you love and clothes that fit.

Jabba the Gut

I joke a lot about Jabba the Gut. When it comes to dressing, though, Jabba is no joke. My stomach muscles were surgically removed due to MRSA. I am lucky to be alive. I realize that. But, sadly, I tend to look about 16 months pregnant without the Spanx I wear almost 24/7. Pants are a particular nightmare. I get them on my legs and up to my hips, yank up the back over my (flat) butt and then Jabba does his best Gandalf imitation, screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!! Seriously.

The Body Shapes

According to the fashion industry, female bodies come in basically four shapes: apple, pear, hourglass (the lucky ones), and rectangle. I was always told I was an apple. Found out later I was more of a larger rectangle. Never had much of a defined waist, even before Jabba came on the scene. The hourglass is the most desirable female figure but the pear shape is the most common. A lot of the plus-size models that are super popular right now are simply hourglass gals blown up a bit from the standard size. All shapes have fit problems, even the desired hourglass who may not want to look so. . . . well. . . .hourglassy!

See how your parts don't match

Pear shapes have well-defined upper halves and usually smaller waists, wide hips, a bigger butt and meaty thighs. Making both halves look good at the same time is the challenge.

Apples (sounds like a fruit salad, eh?) need to define a shape. I used to joke. . . . hey, round IS a shape! Yes, it is and one that’s very hard to dress.

Rectangles are kind of squished in apples, more what society calls a “boyish figure” no matter what size. As with apples, the trick is to create a more defined shape.

Lest We Forget Boobs

Boobs are desirable, right? Well, men and Hollywood seem to think so, but gals who are “well-endowed by their Creator” have fit problems, too, especially when your girls are not in proportion to the rest of your body. A really good bra is a must, preferably one that supports, doesn’t gap in front and doesn’t dig into your shoulders. Although a small woman, my mother had very large breasts and she had permanent strap digs in her shoulders until she passed from this earth.

Fitting Your Flaws

When your parts don’t match, you have to learn what works for you and what doesn’t. What you like may have to take a back seat. Comfort may go by the wayside, too.

After many years of searching, I have found one or two styles of dresses I like and think look okay on me. One major defeat, however, is the dreaded elastic waist pants. Honestly? I hate them. Realistically? Not much choice. Jabba snickers. I found the best fitting pair of jeans for me have a lot of stretch. My arthritic fingers can’t do the three buttons at the top so I just yank them up and down, like they had an elastic waist. These jeans fit me about as well as anything does. Moral of the story: You win some, you lose some.

So What’s A Girl To Do?

Search, try on, search, try on. . . lather, rinse, repeat. See what you like and what you think looks good on you. Get an opinion from someone you whose opinion you truly value. Trust me when I tell you we are not always our own best advocates. When you find a brand you love and fits well, buy it up. And then next time you go to church, light candles with a blow torch and pray that they don’t discontinue the line.

Your Turn

Are you the classic hourglass (LUCKY YOU!!!) or an apple, pear or rectangle? What do you do to create a shape you like better, if anything? Do you have tips for your sisters out there struggling with parts that don’t match? Please leave a comment and help us out. I’m always on the lookout for a better fit.

As far as a perfect fit goes, though, I’m afraid it’s a bit like the X-Files. . . . the truth is out there. Problem is. . . Scully and Mulder haven’t found it yet and neither have most of us.  🙂

See ya next time!

May 262017
 

Most of my readers on this blog are well over the age of consent or, as I like to think about it, aged to perfection! However, our warped society calls us old. So, yes, I’ll accept that. I’m not sure I’d have it any other way. I will display my wrinkles and flap my arms proudly. I’ve earned it all.

Dreaming

Wouldn’t I like to be young, svelte and HOT once more? I guess somewhere in a dream state. Yeah, I was young, but I was never svelte or what was considered hot. I was me. I was a nerd. I was dependable and loyal but definitely not the object of any young man’s dreams. (Well, maybe one and I married him. LOL)

 The Brutal Attack of the Old Age Fairy

I was one of those disgusting folks who was carded in a liquor store until I was 35. I had what the relatives lovingly called a “baby face.” And I held that well into my 50s. Nobody ever guessed my age correctly, including doctors.

But when I turned 60, the Old Age Fairy attacked and waged a shock and awe campaign on this gal. 🙁 To this day, I don’t know what I did to piss her off so badly, but she hit me and hit me hard. I went from nobody believing my senior discount cards were mine to being chased by clerks trying to hit me over the head with the discount.

How old I am joke

Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign

The day after my 60th birthday I discovered jowls and a turkey neck. Wrinkles appeared where there were none before. And although almost every hair on my body fell out, my chin decided to make up for it. You know that song about, “Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro”. . . . well, you could substitute the word breasts for ears. And then there are those arms. I never knew I was related to Rocky the Flying Squirrel!

Who Ya Gonna Call?

The hard answer is there ain’t nobody to call. You learn to adjust. You learn to live with it. We can’t do much about getting old unless you can afford plastic surgery and that is still a temporary fix. You have to start taking a bit better care of yourself. If you don’t moisturize now, you’re gonna turn into an alligator.

Reality

The reality is that I’ve been blessed with a long life. It hasn’t always been good, but it hasn’t always been bad either. It’s been. . . life. Ups, downs, all-arounds. And so now I’m coasting on the down side. It’s okay.

So What Does One Do?

Enjoy it. What other choice do you really have? Age brings some wisdom. Not much, but some. Consider yourself lucky to have lived this long. Wake up every morning and be thankful. Enjoy your day. Not always easy, I know, but. . .

Now It’s Your Turn

When did you notice you had gotten old? What happened? What parts of you are old? LOL If you would like to share, please leave a comment. I promise not to giggle.

See ya next time!

May 222017
 

My Head ShotSelf-love. Self-esteem. Self-worth. A lot of us didn’t have much as teens. The sad part of it is a lot of us still don’t have too much. It’s a crying shame. Most of us have wonderful things to offer to this thing we call life. But many of us don’t offer them up because society tells us we don’t look “acceptable,” that we don’t fit in. . . because we’re larger or smaller than the average bear, we don’t have the right hair, we’re the wrong color or some other ridiculous reason. So we run and hide. Is this you? If it is, read on.

It’s How I Was Raised

That line was my mother’s BS excuse for why she could never change. “It’s how I was raised.” Well, most readers of this blog were raised in an age that taught us it’s all about others. Caring for and about others is a grand thing, provided you realize that YOU need some of that caring, too. Many of us didn’t and still don’t. I didn’t. It was all *them* and never me. It was instilled in me from a young age. I was fat, ugly and good for nothing. I owed my life to others because mine wasn’t worth it. And when it comes from your mother, it’s hard to tell yourself it’s wrong. Suffice it to say, by the time I was a young maid, there was nothing resembling self-esteem or self-worth anywhere near my soul.

Sometimes We Get Lucky

Despite my lack of self-esteem, there was one young man who saw through it all. He thought I was worth something. He thought I was beautiful. I still think he’s crazy, but he’s been hanging around for almost 50 years so maybe some of it’s true, eh? He taught me about unconditional love. Sadly, I didn’t understand that for a long, long, long time. It’s changing now. Better late than never, as they say.

What Society Tells Us

I probably don’t have to tell you that our culture in the U.S. says that to be worthy you should be tall, thin and preferably blonde OR have a big ass like Kim K. That’s acceptable because that turns you into a sexual object. Well, guess what? NOT OKAY. We are all worthy and sex should have nuttin’ honey to do with it.

I don’t know about you, but me, myself and I, for one, am getting tired of being told I don’t measure up. I think it’s time some of us pull ourselves up to our full height, whatever it may be, and start to show society that we can shine just as brightly as what it calls stars. I use that term very loosely. We’re the stars, ladies. We’re the ones who raise kids, work, create art, fix cars, do the rocket science (think Hidden Figures) and make this bright blue marble go ‘round.

What We Can Do

What can we do to counter society? Show ‘em they’re wrong. . . and I mean WRONG! How? Start by NOT. HIDING. Wear the bright clothing. Stand up front in the photos (very hard for me). Sing, dance, paint, do what it is you do and crow about it!!! Stick out that newly-found self-esteem! USE. IT. Don’t hide because you’re old, fat, not what society thinks is pretty or a combination of all the above. If you need inspiration, just look at my pic. I’m not any of it and I am starting to put it out there. Yeah, it’s cathartic for me, but it’s also fact. What fact? Like the old L’Oreal commercial used to say, “You’re worth it.” Yeah, I am. And so are you.

Why you should not hide or unhide

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

Where are you? I know I’m not the only Old Busted Hotness around. There is strength in numbers. Start taking care of YOU if you haven’t been. Do you want a nice hair style? Get it. Would you feel better with your nails done? Get ‘em done. Want to take a college course? Go take it! Now I’m NOT telling you to break the bank here. But there are little things that can make you feel better about being you. Do them. Enjoy them. And then get out there proudly. Hold your beautiful head up high and show the world what you’ve got. STOP. HIDING. We are a force to be reckoned with.

Breaking Good

I am breaking new ground every single day. Some of it’s good. Some of it’s great. Some of it I need to try again. And again. And again. I was 40 years old before I could look at myself in a ladies room mirror because I was told I didn’t deserve to be putting on makeup and combing my hair like “normal” folks. Now when I walk into a public bathroom, I stare down that mirror!!! And, yeah, it stares back, but I no longer hate what I see. It has taken me a lot of years to get to this point. I’m just grateful I made it before check-out time.

The Point

My point is. . . . you are who you are. You are special, more special than you know. Do not check your self-esteem anywhere. Let your light shine. This world needs us old broads. They may not know it yet, but they DO. We have wisdom. We have knowledge. We have beauty. We know what it takes. We’ve been there. We’ve done that. Now it’s time to let the world know what we’ve got. Who’s with me?

See ya next time!

May 172017
 

My Head ShotIt’s the time of year dreaded by all, especially by those who are not young, slim or anything close to the beauty standards of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. It’s Swimsuit Season! Are you resigned to going to the beach or pool in tank or tee and shorts? Understood. That was my summer wardrobe, too, but no more. Old Busted Hotness is breakin’ out her Old Busted Flab. (More about those boobs to come.)

I haz swimsuit!  (Me so happy. . . 🙂 )

 The Big Boob Caper
Ashley Graham bikini

Ashley Graham x Swimsuits For All Princesa Tropic Bikini, (linked in post) sale price $58

Have you seen the latest craze in plus-size swimwear? Due to the fabulous rise in body positivity, larger gals in two-piecers are proudly showing off their tummies. The models are freakin’ gorgeous and toned! My amazement comes, however, not from the tops of the suits but the tops of those models! To be more than a bit crude. . . . where’d they get those knockers? I didn’t think I was a slouch in the boob department, but I couldn’t fill those cups with my ass. Age and weight loss have taken their toll and if things don’t stop, pretty soon I’m gonna need fluffy gym socks to fill out my C cups.

Beach Pain

I remember being happy as a little kid on the beach. Truth be told, I’m always happy on the beach. But that’s before I was humiliated for being fat. Once in middle school, I had a two-piece suit. It wasn’t a bikini. It was what they called a hipster. It was green. My Grandmom bought it for me. My mother was beyond mortified. People were gonna see her kid’s fat rolls. OH, THE HORROR, THE SHAME!!! I was a junior size 11, huge in my mother’s eyes. Oh, to be that size now.

From here on out, nice tank suits were the name of the game. But as I got teased and humiliated at the beach by both men and women, I decided it was time to revert to the tank tops and shorts. . . or wrap myself in a beach towel. And as much as I loved the beach, I just avoided it. Too painful.

This is Ashley Stewart's power mesh swim top

Power Mesh Swim Top from Ashley Stewart, Reg. Price $54.50

Back to the Boob Suits

So I decided those big boob suits were just mock-ups for the model at hand and started ordering. Surely those cups couldn’t be that size in real life. Wanna bet? I looked like the old joke about the kid who proudly marches up to her teacher and announces she’s wearing a training bra. To which said teacher sweetly replies, “But what are you training, honey?” UGH

Last year, I bought a one-piece suit. It’s wearable, but the leg holes are too big and it fits a little funny. My parts are different sizes. Tankinis allow a better fit with separates. And don’t say the words “swim dress” to me. Those words scream old lady loud and clear and bring back my childhood shame. 🙁

My tankini top from Talbots

Pandora Beachy Blooms Tankini Top – Miraclesuit® available from Talbots online, reg. price $89.50

Success!

It took quite a bit of searching and returning, but. . . I finally have a great-fitting tankini top courtesy of Talbots. Yeah, the place I call the Muffy & Buffy store came through. Not usually my cup of tea. But one day, a gorgeous swimsuit popped up on my Facebook page and I clicked on it. To my amazement, it was Talbots!!! I scanned down the page and saw a tankini top in the same beautiful print. It was on sale and I got an online coupon for a massive percentage off. This place ain’t cheap! When I pulled it out of the package, I thought. . . . hmmm, maybe? And the best part? I would not need to stuff honeydew melons in the cups to fill them out. I put it on and modeled it for Ray. His eyes lit up. It’s in my drawer.

I’m planning on wearing it with a pair of black bike shorts from Fabletics. I also ordered a black swim skirt from Swimsuits for All.  And, yes, I know what I said about a swim dress, but this doesn’t look like one, even with the skirt.

So when you go to the beach in South Jersey this year, if you see a (very) short, fat old broad with caramel-colored hair sticking straight up, give me a wave. And if fluffy gym socks fall out of my bra, just palm ‘em discreetly and give ‘em back to me later, K?

See ya Friday with a great review!

May 102017
 

My Head ShotDo you work out? I do. If I’m being perfectly honest with you, I’d rather not but. . . I’m afraid not to. Age and illness have taken their toll and, if I sit too long, there are consequences. So off I go to the gym and yoga. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lately, I see lots of other folks there who look just like me, older and larger than the average bear. I used to go in old (lady) pants and tee shirts. But one day I looked around at all the ladies rockin’ their cute active wear outfits and decided, “Why the hell not?” I left the gym, headed to Lane Bryant and snagged me an outfit.

That First Outfit

Me in my 1st gym outfitThis was that first outfit. (Yes, my flying squirrel upper arms are showing, thank you very much! 😉 ) The mannequin was wearing the only one in my size. I stripped that gal nekkid in a heartbeat and bought it. LOL The top is royal blue with the word INSPIRE on it. I needed that. The pants are actually capris but I’m mega short, remember? They’re sorta kinda crops on me but I can yank them up to the knees if necessary. You can’t see it well here, but there is a multi-colored stripe down the side of the pants that matches the word INSPIRE.

Super comfy. Easy care. All the good stuff. And not too expensive to boot. I’m wearing a 14-16 in this pic. You will note that most of my tops will be tight around Jabba the Gut. If I buy them bigger, they tend to swim on me in all other places and make me look sloppy. So I just go with the snug middle look.

My honest impression of Lane Bryant active wear:  Good quality, reasonable price (on sale) but not a huge selection. That being said, they are getting more and more as larger women are becoming more active.

But Wait, I Need More!

I’m going to the gym 3-4 times a week. OMG, I need another outfit!!!  Back to Lane Bryant I went. Problem was they didn’t have another one that I really liked. As this blog moves forward, you’ll find out how picky (anal) I am about what I spend my hard-earned clothing bucks on. So remembering that Google is my friend, I found Fabletics.

Me in Flabletics blueFabletics is an exercise wear company founded by Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn’s daughter. She’s late 30-ish and in amazing shape. When I first heard of them, they had kind of a bad rep. They apparently made some changes because, all of a sudden, I began hearing good things about them. All the models look like Kate Hudson and not me, not by a long shot.  I didn’t know if the clothes would fit. I got a good deal through a friend, though, so I tried an outfit. When it arrived, I was like. . . uh-uh, no way.  But. . . does shuckin’ and jivin’ into compression pants classify as a workout?  It should!!!

As you can see, this one is a royal blue top with LOUD leggings. Luv me some wild prints! I’m wearing a size 14-16 which is an XL in their size range.

Fabletics is a membership site. Every first of the month they debut new outfits for that month. You have five days to decide if you want something and boy, oh boy, do the outfits sell out quick! Outfits are $49.95 and up, usually with free shipping. If you don’t make a selection by the 5th OR SKIP THE MONTH (more in a moment), they put a $49.95 charge on your credit card that you can use whenever you’d like. You can skip a month at any time. Believe me, I’ve skipped most of the months that I’ve been subscribed. SHAMELESS DISCLAIMER:  If you click THIS LINK and sign up, you get two pair of leggings for $24, which is the current sign-up special. And I get something for it, too. 🙂

My Honest Impression of Fabletics:  Great style, good fit, easy to navigate website and membership plan. GREAT NEWS!!!  They just started carrying some kickass plus sizes up to a 24. I like the leggings much better than the tops. The three pair of leggings I own are very strong and supportive. The tops not so much, but they look good!

Old Navy

Me in purple Old NavyOne day I decided I needed something new to encourage me to go to the gym. I ended up in Old Navy, attracted by a sign that said BIG SALE ON ACTIVE WEAR. I had ordered some of their compression workout pants about two years ago as they only had the larger sizes online. I was pleasantly surprised to find they were now in the store up to a 2XXL, which is about a size 20-22.  This is my Old Navy gym outfit.

The top is purple and the bottom is gray camo. The back of the top is actually mesh but it overlaps so there’s not much showing. Yeah, you can see the back of my sports bra. Who cares? I’m such a rebel these days!  (HAH!) This one was a little pricey and I wouldn’t have bought it had it not been for the extreme sale. I’m wearing a size large as the XL didn’t support Jabba the Gut. I am not comfortable with my floppy bits flopping about, especially while working out.

My honest impression of Old Navy active wear: Good styles and prints. A little on the expensive side, so  wait for sales! From my experience, the sizes are not always consistent so try it on first.

Lots of Choices

As I said in my prior post, there is explosive growth in the plus-size active wear market. You can get outfits and separates in many places, including JC Penney, Walmart, Target and other big box/mall stores. Even Nike, that staunch defender of the Just Do It thin folks, has started carrying larger sizes. (Two words:  Cha Ching!!!) It’s actually fairly easy to find active wear up to a 3X. However, if you’re larger, don’t despair! I’m doing some research into extended-size active wear. I know it’s out there and I WILL find it. Stay tuned.

Oh, do you notice my huge feet? For some reason, that and my big gut are all I see when I look at these pics. LOL  I am barely 5’1″ (if I stand up real straight and suck it in hard) and yet I wear a size 9-9.5 shoe. My mother always said I wouldn’t tip over in a storm. For some reason, the shoes look HUGE to me although I’ve worn this size shoe since I was a young woman. We’re our own worst enemies, aren’t we?

Coming Up Next

Stay tuned for the next edition of Old Busted Hotness. Fridays are going to be reviews of catalogs, stores and other places to get stylish, wearable and reasonably-priced (for the most part) clothing for us, the older, larger woman who wants to look GOOD. I get a gazillion catalogs and have purchased (and returned) many, many things. The exploration starts in two days.

See ya then!

May 082017
 
My Head ShotAnd So It Begins. . .

What begins? So glad you’ve asked. Me, OBH, a/k/a Old Busted Hotness, a/k/a Carla, is jumping into the world of plus-size blogging, but. . . with a twist. What’s the twist? This one is for us gals WELL over the age of consent. There are many excellent plus-size blogs out there but the oldest gal I’ve seen blogging is maybe 40. As many of you know, I have socks older than that. So here I am. I’m still what society calls plus-size and I’m OLD. Perfect fit. We have money to spend, too, and I am forging ahead with the intention of making us a force to be reckoned with!

So What Will This Be About?

Clothes and, more importantly, the challenges we face as we age in a body larger than the average bear. I should point out right up front here that I am militant about, “Wear whatever the **** you want.” If you want to wear goth, wear it and wear it proudly. If you want to wear something more conservative, wear that and wear it proudly. You will get my opinions and boy, oh boy, do I have ‘em! But in the end, it’s wear what makes you feel good about yourself. The gloves are coming off on, “You’re too old or too big to wear that!”

The BIG No-No

Something else I am militant about is NO BODY SHAMING. NONE, NADA, NEVER. I recently saw a supposedly fat-acceptance person shaming a thin person and what’s left of my hair stood up on end. My mind started calmly enough with the fact that nobody should EVER denigrate someone due to their size. Your weight or BMI is NOT your self-worth. And then I got mad and thought, “HOW DARE YOU???” Someone who has been made to feel less than human due to size doing that to another person? Nope, not on my watch. So if you feel the need to leave a size-shaming comment, suffice it to say your comment will be deleted, at best. At worst, you will be cursed into the next millennium!!!

Size vs. Health

One other point I want to make right from jump is that size does not equal health. I understand that excess weight aggravates some medical conditions. I’m not trying to say don’t strive for health. However, society, as a whole, still sees fat women as sitting on their collective asses and eating bon-bons all day. Nothing could be further from the truth for most of us. Want proof? Take a hard look at the increase in retailers selling plus-size active wear. If there was no market, there would be no gym clothes in 16-24 and beyond. Personally, I go to the gym 3 times a week and I do yoga once a week. I watch every bite that goes into my mouth, some due to medical problems and some due to trying to be the healthiest old fat lady I can be. Got a feisty grandbaby to chase!

The Big Why

Why am I doing this now? Because all of my life I have believed the hype that thin is good, fat is B-A-D. I have dieted until the cows come home, twisted myself into a pretzel trying to force this body into things that it was never meant for, swallowed probably thousands of dollars in miracle “cures” for fat and. . . just about anything else the so-called “experts” out there told me would make me “normal.” God, how I hate that word!!! To quote my longsuffering husband, “Normal is a setting on the dryer, nothing more.” He’s right. Why did it take me so long to learn that? Question for the ages, but I HAVE learned it. It’s finally my time. . . our time.

So let’s age together, folks. Flash those wrinkles and droopy bits proudly. If we are not what society wants to see, you know what? They can look in another direction. When I was young and a size who knows what, three guys at the beach followed me around yelling, “Look at the whale!” And I was in a bathing suit that covered almost all of me. I went home and cried. All I can say to those guys now is that if you’re still out there, don’t try it again. I’ve found my balls. Took me longer than it should have but, as the old adage goes, better late than never.

So. . . who’s with me?

OBH on Easter 2017

Dec 312016
 

Today is December 31st, 2016. Many are preparing to celebrate the end of this year. It was a year to remember, for sure. It was the year where the entertainment industry lost a lot of people, some expected, some not. It was the year the U.S. saw our political system devolve into something I can’t even describe. It was the year that civility and common decency flew out the window and online hatred soared to new heights. And while I deplore all of those things, I can’t really hate 2016 because, for us, it was also something magical, something wonderful and something miraculous. 2016 brought us the birth of Sybella Starr.

It happened on April 24th. She was due on the 28th so the text that my son and his lady were headed to the hospital wasn’t unexpected. It was a long day for her beautiful mommy, who ended up with a C-section just before 10 p.m. Sybella was here. The next generation arrived in a glorious seven-pound package!

Holding that little bundle for the first time was something I will remember the rest of my days. She was tiny but feisty, with a full head of dark hair and deep blue eyes that looked right into yours. Less than 24 hours old, she already followed the voices of Mommy and Daddy. At that moment, she was the most beautiful vision I had ever beheld.

As I write this, Sybella is eight months old. Those eight months have been a roller coaster ride for our family, definitely not all lollipops and roses. But through it all, there was Sybella. We did our best to visit every week. No matter how bad that week had been or how broken my heart was, somehow all was right with the world the minute that little girl was in my arms. That feeling would sustain me for the next seven days until I would race to hold her once more.

Sybella is growing up way too fast, as is the destiny of most children. She is trying to walk. She talks right in your face and I’m sure it’s the most scintillating conversation in the universe. I only wish I knew what she was saying. Soon, I will. She is funny, spirited, super intelligent and loves to play. She is the most beautiful baby in the world, according to her very prejudiced Nana and Pop-Pop. And while I am sure I will be saying things like this about subsequent grandangels, right now, it’s all Sybella. And what an “all” that is!

So good-bye 2016 and welcome to a bright, shiny New Year. I expect a lot from you, 2017, but you’re going to have to go a LONG way to beat April 24th, 2016, the dawning of the age of Sybella Starr.

 

Oct 212016
 

Vote in November 2016As I write this, we in the U.S. are just short of three weeks away from the most contentious presidential election of our time. I’ve been voting for many years and have never seen anything quite like this. There may be logical reasons for it. I don’t know. All I know is that many of us are going to go to the polls to vote for (probably) one of the two most disliked candidates in history.

That being said, the answer is NOT sitting this one out. Despite the importance of picking the president, there are other contests on the ballots. There are local elections and questions. Go for those. Vote for any number of reasons but, please, do not stay home.

In that vein, let me offer you Old Busted Hotness’s Guide to Voting in the 2016 Election. Before I give you the benefit of my wisdom (HAH!), let me state that I am not in support of any candidate currently on the ballot, not the main two nor the lesser two. I offer no commentary on either side. I throw this out there for you and me, that we may vote without violating our collective consciences.

Old Busted Hotness’s Guide to Voting on November 8th, 2016

(1) If you openly support one of the two main candidates for president, by all means vote your choice.

(2) If you don’t like either one, but feel one of them is the lesser of two evils, by all means vote for that person.

(3) If you feel that one of the other two candidates more reflects your values and choices, by all means vote for one of them.

(4) If you feel that you cannot, in good conscience, vote for any of the main four, write someone in. If you supported someone in the primaries who didn’t make it, say, Bernie Sanders on the left or possibly Marco Rubio on the right, write their name in if you can. I say “if you can” for the following reason.

I have recently learned that Arkansas, Hawaii, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nevada, Oklahoma and South Dakota do not allow write-in votes on presidential ballots. Not sure how they did this, but that’s how it is. If you live in one of these states, you will have to make a selection from those on the ballot or leave it empty.

On the other hand, Alabama, Delaware, Iowa, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont and Wyoming let you write in anybody and anything. Vote your husband, your best friend or your dog, if you like. There are no restrictions.

The other 34 states all have some type of qualification to get on the ballot as a write-in candidate.

Whether any of this will change prior to November 8th is unknown. Many unprecedented things are happening this year. This information is as of my research today.

(5) If you don’t like the main four and you don’t want to write someone in, provided you can, leave this blank and go on to the local elections. These will probably have a greater effect on your day-to-day life.

( 6) Don’t forget the questions! These will impact what happens in your community and/or your state. If you have questions on your ballot, please answer them if you do nothing else.

The main consideration here is not violating your conscience. Too many years I have pushed a button or pulled a lever and felt like I had to take a shower as soon as I got home. This year, I have been getting brain cramps trying to figure out what I will do come election day. This is the process I’ve worked my way through and now I’m at peace with what I will do. . . . or not do.

Folks, November 8th is coming, like it or not. Please vote for who/what you feel you can. Alexis de Toqueville reportedly said, “In a democracy, people will elect the government they deserve.” After watching this election unfold, this statement scares the beejeebies outta me! So I will show up and do my best to cast my conscience. There is nothing more any of us can do.

OBH over and out!