Setting and Not Setting Goals

 Life's Little Observations, Musings, Serious Stuff, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jul 032020
 

Do you set goals? If not, you're hurting yourself.Do you set goals? Or do you go off half-cocked and what happens happens? I know many folks of both persuasions and I’ve seen success and failure in both groups. While some folks do better intensely focused on a goal, others throw it all up in the air and work with what hits the ground. It’s been the fight of my life, setting goals or not setting goals

A Little Background

I was never a goal setter. I’m not even sure why. I was an expert at tossing it all up in the air and working with what came down. I did pretty well. . . most of the time. And it seemed like every time I DID set a goal, I didn’t make it. So I stopped even trying.

The Teacher

And then I met a wonderful woman who became my mentor for 13 years in a business that I was pretty successful in. She was a BIG goal-setter. She really tried with me. I’m more than a bit of a hard case. She explained, cajoled, taught and begged me to set a goal and follow through. So I did. And I blew every last one of them, thus proving my point that my balls in the air method was better for me. She never bought it. She has now passed from this earth and she kept trying to focus me until the day she left us. She didn’t succeed.

Failure and Settling Become the Norm

I tried a succession of things, not setting goals except for wanting to succeed. Did I? Mildly. But it wasn’t the type of success I wanted. I would get into trainings and they would tell me to *identify my strengths.* I was like, “Hmmm, procrastination, no concentration, a mind that constantly yells SQUIRREL. . . you mean like that?” No, that’s not what they meant. I could not focus on a goal and, therefore, I didn’t make much. I didn’t entirely fail, but I was far from successful. So I settled for what I got and called it a day.

New Passion

And then I found something I desperately needed for my own health. I was NOT going to make a business out of it. Nope, no way. I was happy with things just the way they were. But I wasn’t satisfied. There IS a difference.

And Then Things Changed

One day I sat up and said, “Hey, why not? I can do this.” But still no goal. Toss it up in the air and see what falls out. As you can expect, the answer to that is not much. But I was getting my name out there. And all the while, there was this voice whispering in the back of my mind, “You need a goal to meet, woman!” The other voice argued back, “NO!!! No goal. I’m going to fail!!!” And then I heard a third and wiser voice that said, “You can’t even fail if you don’t try.”

So Now There is a Goal

I dragged myself kicking and screaming towards a goal. I set one. Still didn’t work. Why? Not specific enough. I figured it I made it broad enough, it would give me some wiggle room. You don’t need wiggle room. You need a goal to reach for. A specific goal.

So Now There is a Specific Goal

Okay, okay, I did it. Did I want to? Hell, no!!! But. . . I couldn’t avoid those meddling voices in my head any longer. The one voice said, “Set a goal and you will fail once more!” The other one yelled in retaliation, “Don’t set a goal and you will fail once more!” Since I had more experience with not setting a goal, I decided I owed it to myself to try the other one. So now, would you believe, I have TWO goals? One short-term and one long-term. They are both specific, the short-term more so than the long-term goal. But they are both workable and they need a sense of focus that I hope and pray I can still pull out at my age.

What Next?

Work towards that short-term goal. What happens if I don’t make it? I refocus and try again. One thing my goal-oriented mentor of long ago taught me that DID get through my thick skull is that it’s okay to modify a goal. I intend to keep that in mind.

How About You?

So which one are YOU? Are you setting goals or not setting goals? If you’re a goal-setter, please leave me a comment and tell me what works for you. This old dog intends to learn new tricks. But maybe I should have said old cat. Watch this guy. He knows how to set that goal and SCORE!!! 🙂

Just An Old Lady in The Age of Tech

 Life's Little Observations, Musings, Uncategorized  2 Responses »
Jun 262020
 

Meet the Radio Shack TRS-80, my original computer in 1985I have been on a computer in one form or another since 1985. We had one of the old Radio Shack computers lovingly dubbed a Trash 80 (TRS-80). I used to joke that you could put in your DOS command, go cook dinner, eat it, wash the dishes, come back and it might be finished. But 1985 and 2020 are two very different animals. Technology moves faster than a toddler who’s been asked what’s in his/her mouth. So let’s take a look at an old lady in the age of tech.

First Portable Phone

Notice, I didn’t say “cell” phone. I actually got my first portable phone in 2001. My husband bought it for me for Christmas to use in an emergency. It was about the same size as the handset on a conventional phone today. I had to get out the BIG pocketbook to carry it around. All it did was make calls. I have to admit to being summarily unimpressed. I had gotten around without a portable telephone for almost 50 years. And, of course, there were still phone booths. Then.

That Damn Kid

When my eldest son achieved high school age, he started lobbying for his own cell phone. I refused to buy it for him. We made a deal. Get some jobs, buy your own phone and I’ll buy you some minutes. I NEVAH thought he’d do it, but. . . he did. As promised, I bought the minutes. So then I was dragged kicking and screaming into the cell phone age as I had to learn to text to chase him around. Who here remembers how to text on an old candy bar or flip phone? I hated it, pressing all those buttons so many times just to get the wrong letter. HAH! The old lady in the age of tech story was seriously just beginning.

They Shouldn’t Sell Smart Phones to Stupid People

And then came the iPhone 5. It was years ago now and, hey, they were giving them out free for a contract. At first I was like a kid when the Sears Christmas Catalog arrived in the mail. Then, as with most things, it became pretty ordinary. It played some mean games. That’s what it was used for, for the most part. And then I had to upgrade. Confusion, thy name was iPhone 6. And all my friends, whether on iPhone or Android, who had caught the bug long before excitedly exclaimed, “Oh, you can do this and this and this and that!” So I learned to nod appreciably and get excited with them. Then home I went to work on my trusty computer.

The Mac Book Pro

In 2014 I let people talk me into getting an Apple Mac Book Pro. They convinced me I needed one so my iPhone would synch with it. (HUH?) I was assured it wasn’t *that much* different and I would pick it up in no time flat. So I went to the Apple Refurb Store and bought one. Let me tell you how many times that @O$&((@#$(&^*@$ thing almost went into the wall! It was small enough to throw, too! After an astronomical amount of frustration, a wonderful woman at Apple Care took almost 90 minutes with me when I called sobbing that I wanted to return it. She got into my computer remotely, put a big red arrow on my screen and told me to follow her. No question was too dumb. Once we got the thing set up properly, she gave me a tutorial on how to use it geared for a Windows person. It took about a year before I was fully comfortable with it, but now I consider myself fairly competent in both systems. Fairly.

Then it Was Time for an iPad

Okay, okay. I was slowly going over to the dark side. . . Apple. The phone and the Mac Book did synch up. I was using an Amazon Kindle Fire for a tablet. It was nice, but I used it like a toy. Once again, another well-meaning friend told me I would not use an iPad like a toy and. . . here it comes. . . it would synch up. So I saved up and bought one on sale. I had to fight Best Buy to get their advertised price and almost got arrested (a story for another time), but I walked out of that store with my Apple iPad Air 2 raised in the air with a victory pump . . . for exactly the price in the ad.

So Now I’m an Apple Geek

I went along for a few years, still getting mildly confused when I switched back and forth too quickly. Why didn’t I abandon the Windows computer? Because in NJ you are not permitted to use Apple iOS for legal transcription which is my main side gig. And it was easy because I knew it so well. When I didn’t want to think, back I went to Windows. But I have to admit I thought it was pretty damn cool how I could switch back and forth seamlessly between three devices!

Upgrade That Phone

And then the iPhone 6, by now way too many years old, was dying. I really didn’t want to upgrade, but. . . say hello to my bright red iPhone XR. All I can say is thank God my 24-year-old daughter has the same phone.

Use That Phone

So now I make and receive calls, text like a madwoman, play some pretty neat games, check the weather and do many other things on my iPhone. I maybe use 1/100th of its capability. I always run back to the computer. Now I’m changing things. Why? Because I’m a stubborn (and envious) old bat and I want to do things the way my younger friends do. Some things I pick up right away. Some things take longer. “Mom, why didn’t you just ask me? I could’ve saved you all that time.”

Where am I Now?

Fighting with a phone that is still too much for me. But I AM learning, proving that an old dog can be taught new tricks. It just takes a helluva lot longer. And for the record, I still prefer using a computer with a full-size keyboard. The iPhone XR shot me the hairy eyeball when I wrote that. Still, had someone ever told me in high school or even college that one day I would have a 3×6″ device in my hands that would run my life, I would have told them that they needed to pay more for their drugs as they obviously were not getting quality.

What about YOU?

Now it’s time for YOUR story as an old lady in the age of tech. Come on, I know I’m not the only old lady who fought (fights) with this crapola. Put it right here in the comments so we can commiserate together. 😉

Smashing it is exactly what I wanted to do to the Mac Book Pro when I first got it!

Jumping Into Jeans (Senior Style)

 Life's Little Observations, Musings, Uncategorized  2 Responses »
Jun 192020
 

When you get old, jumping into jeans is not as easy as one might think.Years ago, I had a much younger friend who used to say, “Oh, I just pop out of bed, jump into jeans and I’m set to go!” Ahhhh, the enthusiasm of youth! (Did you get that jumping into jeans part? More on that later.) I’m not downing this sweet young lady, but every time she said this I thought of the song “Those Were the Days.” As I forced my old arse out of bed this morning, I thought I’d give you some insight on how popping out of bed and jumping into jeans happens when you have senior style. You’ll either identify with this or, hey, it’s coming for ya if you are privileged to live long enough. LOL

The Out of Bed Part

This MAY be the hardest part. I have creaky, stiff bones and joints. I can’t get right out of bed or my big butt will land on the floor. So I lay there reading online newspapers on my iPad and flex my legs and stretch. When I know I can get up safely, I do. I have been wrong. Sometimes safely still hits the floor, but I’ve got a good handle on this now. So where do I go?

The Desk Chair

My desk is currently right next to my bed. Each night I leave the chair turned towards me so I can just hurl my stiff self into it in the morning. Once there, I keep stretching the torso as I fire up the big desktop computer. After about an hour of flexing and stretching in the chair, I’m good to go. We hope. And let’s pray I don’t have to pee!

The Clothes

Now that the popping out of bed part is done, it’s time to jump into those jeans. Are you laughing hysterically yet? 😉 Jumping into anything is a no-go for me. This body don’t jump. I manage to select an outfit, which I should do from checking the weather the night before and picking appropriate clothes. . . which I SHOULD do. . . and approach them with trepidation. And I have to admit that I rarely wear jeans in warm weather these days, only in winter. So right now I’m technically jumping into leggings. HAH!

That Jumping Into Jeans Thing

When I DO wear jeans, it isn’t a simple jump-in, trust me. It’s more of giving them the hairy eyeball to see if we still have a meeting of the minds. . . and the waistband. Once I know they are a feasible choice for the day, I gather up the legs, like putting on pantyhose (remember those?) and ease my feet and lower legs in. Then I shimmy them up to right above the knees. Bear in mind I’m sitting down at this point. When I stand up, I attempt to drag them up to the tops of my thighs. I may have to do the push, tug and shove routine to get all the flabby bits appropriately distributed. Then it’s over the hips and, hopefully, buttoning the waistband. A little bit of doing the Twist ensures everything is in the right place.

Pop the Top

Hey, I may be old but I can still pop on a top! So I grab the selected top and just pop it over my head and pull it down. Wait. Did I remember to put a bra on? I sure hope so or else I’ll have to do it again. And then there’s always the, “Do I really want to wear this?” thing. Sometimes I leave it on. Sometimes I change one piece. Sometimes I change both pieces. More than once.

Finally, I Can Face The Day

Now I’m ready for all life throws at me. All I have yet to do is slide my feet into some shoes (a tale for another time) and have at it, right? Sometimes. But whaddya do when the jeans button but you can’t sit down? You giggle, rip them off and pull out another pair of leggings. 🙂

And if you’re too young to remember the song I mentioned above, first released in 1968, here’s the beautiful Mary Hopkin singing “Those Were the Days.”

 

<\div>

Good For All Skin Types NOT Good for Aging Skin

 Good Advice, Life's Little Observations, Musings, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jun 122020
 

This is me in full makeup. But not all makeup is suitable for all skin types, no matter what it says.Some great new makeup product all the celebs are gushing about on Instagram is the new must-have. It screams “good for all skin types.” You’re in like Flynn, right? Well, you may be, but that largely depends on how many candles are on your next birthday cake. Good for all skin types is good for all skin types except when it isn’t. When’s that? When it’s not good for aging skin.

Why am I NOT an All Skin Type?  HINT: We’re old! 🙂

By the time you’re 50ish, your skin is probably dry or at least drier than it was in your 20s. What you may not know is that your skin is thinner, too. Here’s a great article that explains it well.

Aging Changes in Skin Care (Medline Plus)

The Fat Layer Thins

If you read that article, you will see that your subcutaneous fat layer thins. If you already have a thin face, it’s gonna look thinner. Me? I’m still waiting for cheekbones. LOL Seriously, though, they say that certain medications are absorbed by the fat layer and losing this layer changes the way some meds work. If you experience anything out of the ordinary while taking a new medication, call your doctor immediately!

So Whaddya Do?

First, figure out what your main skin care concerns are. For me, that’s something to even out the color patches on my face. I have a lot of discoloration thanks to medical conditions and the drugs to combat them. Not complaining, really. I’m alive. I have wrinkles. I’ve tried to cover them but only plastic surgery or Botox will help and I’m not doing that. So for me it’s the hunt for the perfect foundation.

I Know You Use Something, OBH. What?

Right now, I’m using the Covergirl + Olay Simply Ageless foundation. It’s a cream in a compact and it looks like swirled silly putty at first glance. But it goes on really smooth and doesn’t feel heavy at all. It’s about $12 in Walmart last time I checked. In CVS it’s closer to $17. Yikes! I also like the Too Faced brand in everything. It’s somewhat pricey. Anastasia of Beverly Hills is another good line but much pricier. Both lines are vegan if that means something to you. You have to experiment. It’s the only way.

(DISCLAIMER: I am not associated with any brand mentioned here and I get nothing from plugging them. This is simply what I know about and/or use. However, if anyone from these companies reads this and wants to hire me, hit me up in a comment! 😉 )

Application Matters

So now that you have found IT, the perfect foundation in a coverage you love, do you just slap it all over your face? First, take a good look at your no-makeup face in a big mirror with decent lighting, as close to daylight as possible. Be honest. There are spots on my face that have sunken in slightly and some of my spots have heavier pigmentation. If your skin is fairly even, apply the same way all over. For me, I start with a thin layer all over and then build coverage on the spots that need it. One caveat. . .

DO NOT HELP GRAVITY!!!

I have read one tutorial after another that says to apply your foundation with downward strokes so you don’t rile up the hairs on your face. Everyone has hairs on their face, usually very fine and not visible. Howsumever, you won’t catch me stroking downward. UP, UP, UP for this ‘ole gal! Gravity has done enough with dragging my skin towards the floor. I’m not giving it any help! Your choice, but I recommend UP strokes. My hairs will recover from being riled up.

One Thing to Avoid

I hate to say this because I love the stuff, but mineral makeup is not good for aging skin. In fact, it rarely looks good on skin over 35. It was becoming all the rage when I left Elizabeth Arden years ago. It kicks serious tushy on oily skin. For dry skin? I think it makes you look way too powdery and flaky. For that matter, if you have AGING dry skin, I would avoid any powder as much as you can. Choose cream instead. I DO use a setting powder when I am all finished, but it’s very light and doesn’t leave that powdered doughnut look on my face.

Are You Tired of it ALL?

Many women are tired of makeup by the time they reach their senior years. If this is what makes you happy, by all means do it! Get yourself a good cleansing and moisturizing routine and show that beautiful skin to the world!!! For me, I feel better with at least my face covered so I don’t look like a patchwork quilt. I don’t wear a lot of eye makeup as I wear very thick glasses for nearsightedness. A little mascara and maybe a pale shadow for brightening MAY make their way to my eyes but it’s mainly face coverage that concerns me. Your face; your pick. You show YOU to the world in the way that makes YOU feel your best!

About the Video:  Gotta love a gal who pounces her foundation on, right? Angie gives great tips for applying foundation to dry aging skin. Well worth the 12 minutes. Enjoy!

 

When You Simply Have Too Much Stuff

 Musings, Rant Lite, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jun 052020
 

We all need stuff, but when is it too much stuff?We all have stuff. Do you have enough stuff? Too little stuff? Too much stuff? What do you do with that stuff? Right now, I need an answer to that last one. Downsizing, not Grease, is the word these days. How do you do it? Just trash it? Have a yard sale? Give it away? All of that? What do you do when you simply have too much stuff?

Memory Lane

I didn’t realize how much stuff we had until my mom passed. When we originally bought this house, we bought it with her. Then we took it over. Until the day she died she insisted it was HER house. She would not let us keep one thing in the common areas. So a then 30+ year marriage was stuffed into the attic, the garage, closets, anywhere we could find a spot. It didn’t look too bad in our prior home, all nice and spread out. It changed when we had to stuff our stuff into any space we could! Once she was gone, we started to let it all out into the open and. . . it was just way too much stuff!!! Apparently, we had acquired more and kept stuffing.

Bitchy Stuff

And then there was the time when I was writing entertainment news and doing celebrity interviews. These outings were usually accompanied by a small cadre of press folk, usually hot young chicas who were not too happy that an old bat was in their midst. HAH! And were they catty or WHAT??? They would look you over when you first arrived. Snide comments on your shoes, your handbag, your outfit often accompanied the handshake as they faked a smile. “Walmart is putting out such nice shoes now, aren’t they?” Most designer labels weren’t made in larger sizes then, so. . . I bought shoes and handbags. Most of them have now been donated for charity auctions and such because why do I need that stuff now? Truth be told, I shouldn’t have bought it then. I bought it to shut them up. Seemed like a good idea then. Seems like foolishness now.

Less is Supposed to be More

Less may be more in makeup as we age, but the acquisition of stuff is a sign of success in the USA. It’s a sign that we’re well enough off to afford more stuff. We’ve made it. Hey, look at my stuff!!! Credit cards can lead to the acquisition of more stuff, too, in those who can’t afford to whip out the cash for more stuff. Do you know how much cash you need to buy a Dooney & Bourke bag? Trust me in that if you live paycheck to paycheck it’s way too much.

Where Does That Stuff Go?

Where do you put all your stuff? I’ve walked into peoples’ homes and seen beautiful displays of dolls on the floor, candles, quaint Colonial or Victorian looks. Their homes looked wonderful, like something out of House Beautiful! My house often looks more like an episode of Hoarders. And it seems that the more I toss out the door, the more appears. I’m not buying much these days, so does this stuff do it in the middle of the living room floor when I’m sleeping? It must.

What We Do

I throw stuff out daily. We donate boxes and boxes of stuff. Folks need stuff right now, I mean, really need, not want. I keep threatening the remaining occupants of this house with a dumpster parked in the driveway. I will pitch and toss with a vengeance as I dance around it and cackle maniacally. Okay, okay. There are some things that mean something to me. Our pics on the walls. Things my kids made for me when they were small. My yarn stash, which is MUCH smaller than in days past as in I actually have a chance of using it up before I die. We need shoes and clothes, but not so many. And let’s be honest here. How many pots, pans and kitchen tools does one actually need? Well, if you’re feeding the passengers on the Queen Mary, maybe you need a lot. But not in my kitchen.

So What’s an OBH to do?

Now I’m looking for your help. Leave me a comment on any sure-fire ways you have to get rid of stuff and keep it from multiplying. We are contemplating a move. We need way less stuff. So. . . fire away!!! And enjoy the video of the end-all, be-all authority on stuff, the late great George Carlin.

WARNING: Adult Language!!!

 Older Entries  Newer Entries